© 2002 Jamie Zawinski <>

My apartment building has a pair of slow and frequently malfunctioning elevators. They especially inspire confidence with the fact that the last date on the prominently-displayed inspection certificate is more than two years ago. Perhaps in an attempt to rectify this or other problems, there has been someone working on them lately, and last night, they left a work-light on the roof of one of the cars, lighting up the shaft and giving a pretty good view of the mechanism.

And so, I have some notes to aspiring Hollywood script writers:

I hope this helps clear up any confusion.

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