© 1999 Jamie Zawinski <>

Some of the usual suspects and I were leaving the indoor rock-climbing gym, and while we were waiting for everyone to gather their things, a few of us were chatting with one of the staff. We had noticed that they were closing early today for some reason, and asked why.

And so, a few minutes later, we were heading for the door, and as we were walking out, what did I notice lying right there in the middle of the floor but a soiled condom!

I just about lost it. This was the funniest damned thing I had seen in weeks. How did it get there? Where, in this gym full of wide open spaces, could someone have been having sex? Was there some rock-climbing use for condoms of which I was previously unaware? If so, then what was that on the inside? It sure looked, uh, soiled.

So I tried to stop laughing and hurry my friends along so that nobody would see us busting a gut in proximity to the item in question.

Because if I were in some way responsible for it being removed before the girl scouts arrived, I could never forgive myself.

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