monkey butter.
© 1998 Jamie Zawinski <>

Darin and I were sitting in a restaurant, and he said, ``So what's the origin of `monkey butter,' anyway?'' The phrase ``monkey butter'' being one that had been coming up in conversations quite a bit lately.

``Well, it's like this.'' I began. ``I was out to dinner with some friends, and someone said something about goat cheese. And I said, `I don't think I've ever had goat cheese.' And my friend said, `sure you have, feta is goat cheese.' I had no idea. All these years of eating feta, and I had not a clue that goats were involved. Imagine.''

``So,'' I elaborated, ``That got me thinking. You don't hear much about dairy products from other mammals. Like, say... monkey butter.''

Darin said, ``but would that work? Monkeys aren't ruminants.''

I said, rather more loudly than I intended to, ``So what? They lactate, don't they?''

I looked up. Oh, hello. ``Uh... are you ready to order?'' our waitress asked.

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