Aqua-Bro

Movie Yelling with jwz and Kingfish:

i
Jim
Just downloaded Aquaman. I want one scene with like a 30' turd dangling behind him, is that too much to ask? I had fish, I know how this works.
And then he stops mid sentence and casually eats it.
Is this your first time seeing it? Because it's not actually good. But it is fun, which is the most confusing, conflicting emotions.
It's super dumb, but Aqua-Bro is impossible to dislike, and basically any male child 13 and under probably considers this movie to be Casablanca
Yeah, haven't seen it before, I expect to fast forward a lot
I am literally 4 minutes in and ready to quit.
Oh mah gaaaaaaaahhhhhhddddd this is bad.
There is dumb there. Lots of dumb.
Ok so this is a movie where Aquaman can throw a guy into a wall hard enough to bend steel, and then the guy isn't pulped like when Robot Man did it.
Exactly
That's precisely why I loved that scene in Doom so much
Just... splat
It's not right that Dafoe is Atlantan and also Green Goblin.
Yeah, but he's cool that way.
Can Aquaman fly? He doesn't seem to actually swim, he just sort of zips.
I think he can water spout around a little
Like Khan, Atlantis suffers from 2d thinking.
This is so dumb.
Nice little "master race" vibe, with royalty being the only ones who can breathe air.
Besides pooping I also have questions about metallurgy.
But, sharks with frikkin' laser beams
This movie is bad. It is very, very bad.
Dafoe is phoning it in.
An octopus tribal drummer? Really? Really?
I counter your octopus drummer with plush elephant dude keyboard player from Star Wars
You know... for kids!
I'm not going to defend Max Reebo, which I think might actually be his name
Yes!
My Star Wars name, that I gave myself, is Farce Bambu.
Also in this dumbass timeline both the Atlantans and the Amazons just let - gestures wildly - all of this go!
Hahaha
YOU HAD ALL THIS
It's like if the Eugenics Elves decided, "Hey let's just see what happens if we let 10 billion orcs run the place for a few thousand years"
Sure!
Are we the baddies? Are we the orcs?
Oh yeah we are.
What Tolkein called "men" were probably Neanderthals, or Bigfoot.
But, you've seen the terrible effect living in our world has had on the elves.
Like maybe the air is too heavy for them, or there's too much refined iron everywhere
Also, by way of example, I literally just remembered there was that whole Mantis thing and a submarine or whatever. I completely forgot all of that.
So that was a pretty good origin story for Black Manta. His grandfather's nickname was Manta. So he's the black one.
Ok there was just a scene where Fake Julian Sands yelled and bubbles came out of his mouth -- which is basically if I yelled and vomited.
Haaaaaa fake Julian Sands
This movie is bad even in the context of: I just watched an episode of The Flash.
Owwww
Did they really just look through the back of the Six Million Dollar Man doll's head?
I am appalled by your ignorance. Yes, and Pat had one.
I did too! They looked through a statue of Romulus holding a coke bottle to get the next quest waypoint!
Oh gotcha. See, i forgot that too!
This movie is a bad bad movie
I am pretty drunk but not drunk enough
And now there are velociraptors because of course there are.
Okay, real sleepies now. Signing out
....and Atlantans don't age but apparently neither do Scientologists so that's fair? Seriously how has Nicole Kidman been 27 for 30 years, she's older than me. Do you figure she did this movie because of a mortgage? Or leftover dues to CoS? Or some other kompromat?
Wait wait
Wake up
This is important
I just had a vision of this movie where Aquaman was played by Lux Interior, and I really think that would have been the way to go.
Delivered
O
Send

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recent movies

Per recent trend, it's been more than a year since my last movie microreview post.

This isn't everything. I've omitted the many things I watched that were so bad that I don't even have anything funny to say about them. Also, when I checked my list, I found that there were some on there that I don't actually remember at all. There were a few. Ok, a lot.

In maybe something close to chronological order but not really:

Guns For Hire: A very low budget "what actually happened" action/mystery. Not bad.

Addicted to Fresno: Absolutely hilarious Slacker Idiot Caper movie.

Morgan: They keep making this movie -- the genetically engineered "born sexy yesterday" killing machine -- but this is a decent entry in the genre.

The Girl With All The Gifts: A zombie movie worth watching even if you're sick to death of zombie movies. I loved the book, and the movie does it justice.

Doctor Strange: Ok either you've already seen this or we can't be friends.

Crazyhead: This series is Buffy with more swearing and awkwardness. Starts off very strong, sort of loses it by the end.

The Man in the High Castle: Season 2 wasn't bad. You can pretty much entirely skip season 1, in which nothing happens.

Travellers: Time travel show basically from the perspective of the Terminators. It's not bad but suffers in characterization since by design, the characters have no backstory. We only get their cover identities.

Falling Water: This is an odd show about walking into other peoples' dreams. What I liked most about it is that it was really good for watching while falling asleep, because like dreams, it makes no god damned sense. It's like a 42 minute screen saver. When they finally started explaining things I felt, "nooo, don't spoil it".

Passengers: The trailer tells the entire story, because there's not much story, and the plot is even more monstrous than the script says it is. It's pretty, though. And I liked the bartender robot.

The Love Witch: This is a glorious tribute to the Hammer Horror movies. If you have any love for those, this is fantastic.

Person of Interest: When this show started, I gave up after a couple episodes because it was just another stupid police procedural. But people kept saying, "no, if you suffer through Season 1, it gets really good and turns into an actual science fiction show". Well, yeah, it does turn into a science fiction show, and it's not bad, but it suffers so heavily from plotblocking: In five seasons, there's about ¾ of a season's worth of the "AI" plot that I actually cared about. The rest of it is procedural victim-of-the-week nonsense.

The Sin of Harold Diddlebock: I thought I had seen all of the Preston Sturges movies, but somehow I missed this one! And it's fantastic!

Legion: SO GREAT. It turns out that what mutant stories were missing was hallucinatory unreliable narrators in asylums! And Aubrey Plaza. You may have heard that the is nominally connected to the X Men franchise, but it feels like it has nothing to do with that world, so don't let that scare you away.

Timeless: This is a really fun time travel show, and I don't often say those words. It hits many of the tropes, ok all of the tropes, but it comports itself well.

Midnight Special: It's a precocious mutant kid movie that seems to be based on the various M83 videos, and is possibly set in the same universe as Tomorrowland. I mock, but actually it's pretty good.

The Autopsy Of Jane Doe: I was worried this was going to be "zombie movie with boobs", but it's actually a pretty great locked-room ghost story. Very well done.

Modesty Blaise: You gotta watch this movie for the wallpaper alone.

The Void: Start with The Thing, turn left at Hellraiser, sprinkle lightly with Beyond The Black Rainbow.

The Scribbler: Good looking movie, shame about the plot.

After Death: Some people wake up on a beach, pretty quickly realize they died and are in Hell. It's not bad, but don't watch the trailer, it spoils the whole thing.

Rogue One: I was very pleasantly surprised by The Force Awakens, but this was even better. It held up on a second viewing, too.

Get Out: This is as great as everyone says it is. It's funnier and less of a horror movie than I expected.

Before I Fall: What if Groundhog Day was Mean Girls? Actually that works our pretty well.

The Neon Demon: This movie takes a really long time to get around to its actual plot -- which begins about 10 minutes from the end. It's vacuous and very pretty, and I might have enjoyed it more if I had known from the beginning that it was actually REDACTED.

Jawbreaker: Speaking of Mean Girls, I remembered this movie being a piece of shit, but I was talking to a friend who remembered it fondly, so I watched it again. I was right, it's a complete piece of shit.

The Devil's Candy: A really nice haunted house / possession movie. Much more on the suspense side than the spring-loaded-cat side.

Trainspotting 2: I did not expect this is be any good, but WOW, it's really good! It really felt like these jackasses have just been fucking around for twenty years and we're checking in on them again.

American Gods: I read the book and it really bored me -- all I remember of it is that it's a road trip with a whiny viewpoint protagonist who has absolutely everything exposited to him. But the show is so much better! Probably because it's actually about Dead Wife and Giant Leprechaun instead of the nominal lead characters. This is very much a Bryan Fuller story, not a Neil Gaiman story: it has much more to do with Fuller's Pushing Daisies and Dead Like Me than with Gaiman's pastiches of late-period Douglas Adams.

The Handmaid's Tale: It's pretty great. But do shows with female leads always have to be about babies? Is there some kind of Bechdel test corollary that goes, "...and the women didn't talk about babies at all"?

Glow: Words cannot express how little interest or nostalgia I have for wrestling, but this was pretty funny. But again with the babies.

Wynonna Earp: , Supernatural has been kind of losing my interest lately, and this show was bringing the kind of stupid monster-of-the-week pulp schlock that I was missing. Season two has been slow so far, though. Also, now with babies.

I Am Not A Serial Killer: This is a pretty weird monster movie. It's hard to say more without spoilers. Not bad.

The Tenth Victim: Did you know that they made The Hunger Games in 1965? This may well be the first recorded appearance of a bra that shoots bullets from the nipples. This movie is not good, but it is better than The Hunger Games.

He Never Died: Rollins is immortal, and very very grumpy. I strongly recommend this as a double bill with The Man From Earth.

Blood Drive: This show is way funnier than it has any right to be.

Freaks of Nature: What if zombies, vampires and humans all went to high school together, and then aliens invaded. Yeah, ok, I'm in.

Motivational Growth: Jeffrey Combs plays a manipulative pile of talking bathroom mold. It's kind of amazing.

Arrival: I loved this movie, and I was already a fan of the story it was based on. Calling it Contact done right isn't out of line.

Absentia: The day after her husband is declared "presumed dead", he comes back, and then gets taken by a monster again. It's pretty well done.

God Help The Girl and Sing Street: If you are looking for a double bill of twee indie-rock musicals, these are totally where you should go for that.

Wonder Woman: After suffering through what felt like a thousand stultifyingly shitty live-action DC movies, they finally got one right! I enjoyed this a lot. (When I saw the trailer for Dunkirk I said, "Wow, this Wonder Woman movie is way darker than I expected it to be.") I still think the Justice League movie looks like it's going to be a piece of shit, though. How is it that the DC animated stuff is (mostly) so good, but their live action outings are complete garbage? Except this one.

Guardians of the Galaxy 2: Hands up anybody who saw the first one and thought, "Boy, I hope the whole second movie is about Starlord's sad manbaby daddy issues!" Nobody? That's what I thought.

Colossal: Come for the kaiju, stay for the abusive relationships! I loved this.

Heavy Metal and Heavy Metal 2000: I was feeling nostalgic, so I'm here to remind you that these movies are absolutely dreadful. They're even worse than I remembered. They're shit.

Rock and Rule: In comparison to Heavy Metal, this lousy movie looks pretty great I guess?

Akira: This, however, really stands up. Every frame of this movie is gorgeous.

Ghost in the Shell, 1995: This too. It's absolutely as great as I remembered. One of the things that struck me about it this time is that it's slow not just because it's just a talky movie, but because they are showing off the absolutely obsessive environmental detail. This movie loves its skylines and neon-lit tunnels as much as Blade Runner did, and is just as willing to linger on them.

Ghost in the Shell, 2017: I put off watching this for a long time because A) remakes are stupid and B) whitewashing is stupid. And yeah, the whitewashing is weird and lame. But I gotta say, if you can get past that, they did a great job on this movie. It is absolutely gorgeous -- the exteriors, especially, which look like live-action Wipeout -- and the characterization and themes do justice to the original. The plot is different than, and much simpler than the original movie, but the various movies and TV shows were never much for continuity anyway. (Do the first and second movie even take place in the same universe? I can't remember. I'm pretty sure at least some of the TV shows disregarded the others.)

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets: For the first hour or so, I thought this movie was fantastic -- very much The Fifth Element done right. It kind of lost it toward the end, though. Like most movies, it probably should have ended 20 minutes earlier. Still, it was gorgeous and a lot of fun. (I have since read the comics, and I can say with assurance that the movie is way better. The comics are shit. Though the movie and the comics do share one important point: both of them would have been better if the male lead wasn't in them.)

Update: I tried to watch this movie again, and I completely retract what I said about it above. I don't know what I was thinking. Or possibly drinking. This movie is shit. There are some cool alien races, but everything else is awful. The comedy rarely rises above the level of "Hurr durr, women are terrible drivers!" Seriously, they make that joke like five times.

Atomic Blonde: THIS IS SO GREAT! From the opening titles where I thought, "You are already referencing To Live and Die in LA and I am all in," every moment of this movie is fantastic. The fight choreography is great. The use of music is great. Where they chose not to use music is great. It's all great.

Previously.

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Seeking electric motor for serious relationship

Lazyweb,

I need a better motor for my curtain automation. I've tried several models, and they all only last two or three months before they strip their internal gears. So my current procedure is, "buy a new motor every two months." This is not a good system.

I figured the motors would just stall out before stripping gears. They are straining, but never reach the point where they actually stop turning. But no, eventually something cracks.

I'm driving the motors with with this board, which is 12vdc and has a 1.2a max stall current, so I've tried these motors, and stripped the internal metal gears on all of them, multiple times:

I'm kind of puzzled by this, because except for the 227:1 1.1A, they are not stalling out! They strain a bit at the end, but they keep turning. I expected that the failure mode I would be repeatedly experiencing would be that the motor is fine and the driver board melts. But somehow, even without the motor ever getting stuck, it's just shattering internally. (Applying power directly results in the shaft not rotating at all, or rotating only partially then getting stuck, so it's definitely that the gearbox has committed internal suicide.)

I need to find a quiet, fast motor with like, 350+ oz-in torque. Bidirectional, constant speed. And if it has more than a 1.1A stall, or if it needs more than 12vdc, I need to find a driver board to run it with. I don't even really know where to look. You'd think lots of people would want to move heavy things with a small box.

Suggestions?

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2015 music wrap-up, and mixtape 161

In only approximate order of favoriteness -- and for the thirteenth year in a row -- here is my year-end wrap-up. As usual, a few of the entries on the following list were released earlier than 2015, but that is when I discovered them, so I'm allowing some slack. Though most were actually released in 2015.

This year I acquired around 80% as much new music as last year: roughly 60 new releases, almost all released within the last 3 years, more than half released in 2015. That's down 50% from 2013.

Number of those bands that I saw perform this year: 15.
Number of those bands that performed at DNA Lounge this year: 5.
Go Team. Both of those numbers are down too.

So I am officially in a rut.

I haven't commented on all of these because I still find it really hard. Don't hold it against them. Listen to the mixtape!

I like these things. You should like them too. Here's your shopping list:

  • Veruca Salt - "Ghost Notes"

    This album sounds like they could have made it in 1998 -- which is totally fine by me. It's really, really great: Triage and The Museum of Broken Relationships are as good as anything they've ever done. In case you haven't heard, this is the band's original lineup, producer and all. They broke up in 1998, and Louise released two and a half albums on her own, but now everybody's happy so they can get back to writing angry songs about miserable relationships!

    I think it's kind of weird that most of the reviews I've read of it have pretty much pretended that Louise's "solo" Veruca Salt albums don't even exist. I think Resolver is very nearly as good an album as Eight Arms To Hold You was -- I love every track. And the later releases were also pretty good: maybe not up to that standard as whole albums, but they contained some great stuff: Damage Done, Officially Dead, Closer, Save You...

  • Meg Myers - "Sorry"

    More angry songs about terrible relationships! Yay!

  • Chvrches - "Every Open Eye"

    I'd say that overall the tracks on this album are consistently better than on The Bones of What You Believe, but that one had some better stand-out tracks. By the way, if you haven't heard their covers of I Would Die 4 V and Bela Lugosi's Dead, you really should.

  • Health - "Death Magic"

    This album has a very unusual style: the music is heavy as fuck, sometimes sounding a bit metal, sometimes a bit industrial, but just so heavy, and then the vocals come in and he's singing in this airy synthpoppy style. It sounds like that would be a complete mess, but it's not! Also this was probably the second best show I saw all year -- and they only came in second to Lydia Lunch, and she's hard to top.

  • Metric - "Pagans in Vegas"

    This is a really good album, but I keep wanting them to release Fantasies again... and it's not quite Fantasies. But, I felt the same way about Synthetica too, and that grew on me eventually.

  • Vanbot - "Perfect Storm"

    This album makes me feel sad, and cold, and sad. Ok, I'm really cold right now. But that's not why.

  • The Chemical Brothers - "Born in The Echoes"

    Better than Further, definitely, but they are kind of repeating themselves. Go is probably the best track, and its awesome, but it's basically the same as Galvanize (which to me I will always hear as the Galvanize the Empire mash-up, dammit). Taste of Honey could be a Recoil song.

  • Shriekback - "Without Real String or Fish"

    The first Shriekback album in five years! Three quarters of the original lineup. It's definitely a return to their 80s form, much more in the Oil and Gold vein than Sacred City or Naked Apes. Of the recent albums, I would still rate Glory Bumps slightly above this, but it's very good. I got the special edition that came with a 3d-printed fish and little bits of string. Their merch game is very strong.

  • Happy Fangs - "Capricorn"

    "Excuse me Sir, do you have a minute to talk about rock and roll?" They are awesome, and I'm glad we have booked them as often as we have. Though it has been a while.

  • Fight Like Apes - "Fight Like Apes"

    Even though it's self-titled, it's their third or fourth album, depending on how you count. It's great, though not as funny as previous releases. But it's hard to top song titles like Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues, Come On Let's Talk About Our Feelings, Pull Off Your Arms and Let's Play In Your Blood (from "The Body of Christ and the Legs of Tina Turner").

  • Five Knives - "Savages"

    Like I said when reviewing their first album, this band is what Shiny Toy Guns should have been but weren't. Their lyrics are like, the brattiest stuff I've ever heard.

  • Wolf Alice - "My Love Is Cool"

    A little shoegazey, a little grungey. Bellly meets L7?

  • Public Service Broadcasting - "The Race For Space"

    All of their albums are built around newsreels and old radio broadcasts. This one is about the space race, obviously. The songs are not as gimicky as that sounds.

  • Meet Me In Orbit - "Traveller"

    Synthy, mostly instrumental, and possibly from the 19A0s.

  • Jesika von Rabbit - "Journey Mitchell"

    A more electronic album by the singer of Gram Rabbit, a longtime favorite. It's goofy. She's a wonderful goofball.

  • Speedy Ortiz - "Foil Deer"

    This sounds so much like if Liz Phair made records that I actually like! Wait, that didn't come out quite right. No, actually, it did. The Phair is strong in this one, but better. "Sorry I made out with your friends. I'm not that sorry, I'm never that sorry."

  • Barry Andrews - "Haunted Box of Switches, Vol. 2"

    The singer of Shriekback does his "crooning with a piano" bit. Volume 1 was superior, but this makes a good counterpoint to that copy of "Without Real String or Fish" you were gonna pick up.

  • Say Hi - "Bleeder's Digest"

    More sad songs about vampires! That's right, it's the sequel to Impeccable Blahs.

  • Sleep Thieves - "You Want The Night"

  • Priest - "Priest"

  • Ume - "Too Big World"

  • Vela Eyes - "Sparks"

  • 2:54 - "The Other I"

  • Voltaire Twins - "Milky Waves"

  • Sleater-Kinney - "No Cities To Love"

    If you were looking for an album that sounds exactly like a Sleater-Kinney album, this is that.

  • Chromatics - "Running From The Sun"

    If you were looking for an album that sounds exactly like a Chromatics album...

  • Purity Ring - "Another Eternity"

    If you were...


And finally, here's mixtape 161, which includes one track by each of the above artists.

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Current Music: as noted

Chemtrails

How is this koo-koo krazypants getting a cover story?

I mean, I love apocalyptic illuminati conspiracy fiction as much as the next guy -- ok, a lot more than the next guy, because that guy's a sheeple -- but come on.

Slow news week? Ran out of Dirt Rave stories already?

We should be so lucky as to have a vast, faceless meta-governmental conspiracy that was competent enough to pull this off. It would mean that adults were in charge. Or Gods.

A thumbnail sketch of the science behind chemtrails is difficult because there are competing theories about what that science entails. But most activists, including Roddie, agree that curbing global warming seems to be the purpose. In layman's terms, chemtrails are believed to be an aerosol that contains aluminum (which deflects sunlight), as well as a cocktail of other toxic elements such as barium and strontium. According to Roddie, this aerosol has insidious side effects, including Alzheimer's, autism, asthma, respiratory failure, pulmonary failure, and stroke.

Another major side effect: California's historic drought. [...]

Hall says she protects herself as best she can, but as a gardener, she works outside every day and is vulnerable. She no longer drives with her windows down, she says, and she bought a water filter to sift out impurities. Occasionally, she detoxes from the heavy metals in her blood by taking supplements such as chlorella, zeolite powder, and bentonite clay. She also eats as much cilantro as she can, which assuages metallic contamination, she claims.

Rumors of sickness and bodily mutation run rampant through the chemtrails community. Hall mentions a fellow activist who tested her dog's blood for heavy metals and discovered thorium, a radioactive element that has been used as nuclear fuel.

She also mentions Morgellons, a controversial condition -- classified by most physicians as a delusional parasitosis -- in which people develop sores they believe to be caused by parasites, insects, or invasive synthetic fibers. In 2008, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention investigated Morgellons among patients in Northern California, a hotbed of self-reported Morgellons diagnoses, and concluded there was "no infectious cause and no evidence of an environmental link."

Hall is unconvinced. "All of us have fibers in us because they spray them in the sky, and they're all over the ground, and they're in the soil, and they're in the water," she says. "These fibers are self-replicating nanotechnology. To me, those are the scariest words I've ever heard in my life."

Marsha Dawson, a North Bay activist who works with Roddie and Hall, agrees that chemtrails exact a disastrous human toll. She says she experiences "memory problems" and lung pain because of her exposure. Dawson drinks Fiji and Volvic water constantly because both contain silica that, she claims, loosens the aluminum particles in her body. She also finds relief in black cherry bark syrup from Whole Foods. [...]

The scope of the program Herndon envisions is mind-boggling. According to him, the fly ash is transported on railways that connect coal plants to military and civilian airports across the country. The ash is loaded onto a fleet of 1,000 or more planes, he estimates, all of which fly off-the-radar, often at night, without transponders or flight plans. These ghost planes, Herndon says, have poisoned the country and induced California's drought. He alleges that certain leafy plants in the Golden State now exhibit high concentrations of thallium -- Saddam Hussein's favorite poison for political assassinations. [...]

"Pretty much one hundred percent of people who believe in chemtrails will believe that 9/11 was an inside job and the World Trade Center was pre-rigged with explosives," West says. (In fact, prior to becoming a chemtrails activist, Roddie was involved in We Are Change, a "nonpartisan, independent media organization" that promotes the idea of a 9/11 cover-up.) [...]

As West points out, the scope of the program that Herndon suggests would implicate every meteorologist, airline pilot, and climate scientist in the world, plus a significant chunk of the Pentagon, Congress, Cabinet, and White House -- and numerous other governments and industries worldwide.

At least chemtrails are vegan. Better drink Pepsi-branded bottled water, though, just to be safe. STAY VIGILANT.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Wikipedia: Deleted articles with freaky titles

Repository of All Human Knowledge:

  • List of bands beginning with the word "lemon"
  • List of convicted drunk drivers who have become president of the United States
  • List of Dads Who Make Other Dads Eat Bugs
  • List of deaths by cello
  • List of differences between apples and oranges
  • List of fictional characters with removable or interchangeable heads
  • List of fictional ungulates in video games
  • List of movie posters with lamps in them
  • List of jellyfish who have stung notable people
  • List of notable people who have been stung by jellyfish
  • List of people who died with tortoises on their heads
  • List of people without names
  • List of political organizations whose name include "Marxist-Leninist"
  • List of software projects whose name is a term offensive to many people with disabilities
  • List of things the cat dragged in
  • Category: Generals whose names sound like car brands
  • Category: Guys who used to have long hair
  • Category: Ice-named rappers
  • Category: People shot by standing Vice Presidents
  • Category:Political posters using an octopus
  • Category: Potentially Good Names For Heavy Metal Bands
  • Category: Recursive categories
  • Category: Tastes like chicken
  • Category: Wikipedia articles needing moustaches
  • Category: Worst lists

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Planetary Moshpit

Exhibit A:
How Jupiter protects the inner planets from the asteroid belt:

Hilda asteroids are in a 3:2 resonance of mean motion with Jupiter. This enables them to have aphelia up to the distance of Jupiter and not beeing scattered. They form a typical triangle.

Exhibit B:
Moshpits.js:


A JavaScript implementation of the simulations presented in the paper Collective Motion of Moshers at Heavy Metal Concerts.

Also.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.
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Current Music: K.Flay -- Rawks ♬

The Benefits of Metal and Diapers

Man gets sick benefits for heavy metal addiction

A Swedish heavy metal fan has had his musical preferences officially classified as a disability. The results of a psychological analysis enable the metal lover to supplement his income with state benefits.

Because heavy metal dominates so many aspects of his life, the Employment Service has agreed to pay part of Tullgren's salary. His new boss meanwhile has given him a special dispensation to play loud music at work.

"I have been trying for ten years to get this classified as a handicap," Tullgren told The Local.

"I spoke to three psychologists and they finally agreed that I needed this to avoid being discriminated against." [...]

But his sessions with the occupational psychologists led to a solution of sorts: Tullgren signed a piece of paper on which his heavy metal lifestyle was classified as a disability, an assessment that entitles him to a wage supplement from the job centre.

"I signed a form saying: 'Roger feels compelled to show his heavy metal style. This puts him in a difficult situation on the labour market. Therefore he needs extra financial help'. So now I can turn up at a job interview dressed in my normal clothes and just hand the interviewers this piece of paper," he said.

'Adult baby' Stanley Thornton Jr. will still receive Social Security checks following probe

Social Security will keep spoon-feeding disability checks to a California man who wears a giant diaper and lives as an "adult baby."

Stanley Thornton Jr. says that the federal agency has cleared him of wrongdoing after a probe into his disability claims began after his bizarre appearance on National Geographic television earlier this year.

Thorton wrote on his website that he receives disability because he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, attention-deficit disorder, depression, bipolar disorder and other ailments - not because he chooses to live as an adult baby.

Previously.

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DNA Lounge: Wherein hammers are swingin'!

There has been actual construction work on the second floor of the pizza place! Well, "demolition" work, but that's close enough. Hammers were swung. Massive piles of junk were hauled out.

They've removed the interior walls from the back room. It's a really nice-sized space now! Too bad we're about to shrink it again by carving some bathrooms out of it. Photos:

I don't think I've mentioned what used to be up here before... apparently one of the previous tenants had, how shall I put this delicately, a "hydroponic garden" of some kind. There was a pair of rooms that you could only enter by climbing through a window that were covered, floor, walls and ceiling, with slick white plastic. It was creepy as hell, like a Dexter kill-room but less obsessively tidy:

I also don't think I've mentioned that we're getting a parklet! The location has been approved, and the next step is to get the Planning Department to sign off on our architectural drawings of it.

This is what's on the street now, spanning DNA Lounge and DNA Pizza:

CAR
CAR
MOTORCYCLES
CAR

And this is what it's going to turn in to:

CAR
MOTORCYCLES
BIKES
PARKLET

The parklet will be about 30' wide, and have tables and a standing-height railing. In addition to that, we're getting rid of two car spots and adding a bunch of bicycle parking.

I wouldn't be foolish enough to make a guess as to when this will be finished, but so far the bureaucracy has been relatively minimal.


You know who has a puzzling internet footprint? Metal bands.

As you might expect, I have a bunch of feeds of searches for mentions of DNA Lounge. Normally this turns up the occasional article or mention of us or a band who is playing here. However, when we have an upcoming show by a metal band, the references go CRAZY. Apparently every metal fan in the world has a blog, and every one of them feels the need to post the entire worldwide tour schedule of every metal band that exists. It feels like the kind of copy-and-paste that you see from adword-farming spam-blogs, but I've looked at a few of them, and it seems not. I guess the metal fans are just obsessive enough that they all consider it front page news that a band they like is playing a show in a city that is six thousand miles away. (Some are reposting articles from other blogs, but mostly they appear to be real blogs.)

So I end up getting half a dozen notifications a day that look like this:

Hails and Horns - PAGANFEST AMERICA Part III to feature four ...
4/12 - Lubbock, TX @ Jake's 4/13 - Denver, CO @ The Marquis 4/15 - Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven 4/16 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre 4/17 - San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge 4/18 - West Hollywood, CA @ Key Club 4/19 - Tempe ...

Turisas To Headline "Paganfest: America Part III" Tour | Heavy Metal ...
4/12 - Lubbock, TX @ Jake's 4/13 - Denver, CO @ The Marquis 4/15 - Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven 4/16 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre 4/17 - San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge 4/18 - West Hollywood, CA @ Key Club 4/19 - Tempe ...

METAL ALLIANCE TOUR Schedule Updated
Apr. 05 - Oakland, CA @ The Pound (city and venue change, show now in San Francisco, CA DNA Lounge) Apr. 06 - Hollywood, CA @ House Of Blues Apr. 07 - Tempe, AZ @ Marquee Theater Apr. 09 - Denver, CO @ The Summit Music ...

SEPULTURA North American Tour: Schedule Updated
04/11/12 DNA Lounge - San Francisco, CA - No DEATH ANGEL 04/12/12 Branx - Portland, OR 04/13/12 Studio Seven - Seattle, WA 04/14/12 In The Venue - Salt Lake City, UT 04/15/12 Gothic Theatre - Englewood, CO 04/16/12 Manny's ...

Se revelan las fechas de tour norteamericano de Sepultura, Death ...
Abr. 11 - DNA Lounge - San Francisco, CA (Sin DEATH ANGEL) Abr. 12 - Branx - Portland, OR Abr. 13 - Studio Seven - Seattle, WA Abr. 14 - In The Venue - Salt Lake City, UT Abr. 15 - Gothic Theatre - Englewood, CO Abr. 16 - Manny's ...

rockcultural: Sepultura e Krisiun anunciam longa tour pela America ...
April 10 - Santa Ana, CA @Yost Theater April 11 - San Francisco, CA @DNA Lounge April 12 - Portland, OR @Branx April 13 - Seattle, WA @Studio Seven April 14 - Salt Lake City, UT @In The Venue April 15 - Denver, CO @Gothic Theater ...

Horns Up Rocks: TURISAS Are Gearing Up For "PaganFest ...
4/13 - Denver, CO @ The Marquis 4/15 - Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven 4/16 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre 4/17 - San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge 4/18 - West Hollywood, CA @ Key Club 4/19 - Tempe, AZ @ 910 Live Related links: ...

HAVOK To Release EP Late May | Unhallowed Nation Magazine
4/11/2012 DNA Lounge - San Francisco, CA. 4/12/2012 Branx - Portland, OR. 4/13/2012 Studio Seven - Seattle, WA. 4/14/2012 In The Venue - Salt Lake City, UT. 4/15/2012 Gothic Theatre - Englewood, CO. 4/16/2012 Manny's - Billings, MT ...

Fans of other genres don't do this. It's weird.

The other thing about metal bands: they still use Myspace.

As we get repeat visits from bands, DJs and other performers here, I update their URL links on our calendar, and there has been a steady progression of replacing their old Myspace URLs with new Facebook URLs. I don't think I've added a new Myspace URL to the calendar in five years -- except for metal bands, who are all still using Myspace. It's baffling.

I'm not seeking theories to explain this (I'm sure you have them), it's just a little internet-sociological oddity that I've noticed.


So, Free Coffee February is almost over, and has resulted in what can generously be described as a "smattering" of new customers. Not exactly the hockey-stick graph one dreams of.

I had a frustrating conversation the other day with someone whose company has for several years been in the office building on our block that is just past Slim's. Though he's a regular of DNA Lounge, and enjoys our pizza, he was somehow unaware that we were open in the morning, or that we have espresso. I asked him, "Have you even noticed that we have those A-frame signs on the corners hyping coffee?" He said, "Oh, I walk by that every day. I walk by and think, 'Oh, hey, DNA, I like those guys'. I've never actually read it, I guess!"

It was frustrating because here's a guy who is exactly our target market for the morning/lunchtime crowd, and we were completely failing to reach him with our message of, "Hey, we exist". I don't know why, and neither did he.

Tags:

Head and neck injury risks in heavy metal

British Medical Journal
Objective To investigate the risks of mild traumatic brain injury and neck injury associated with head banging, a popular dance form accompanying heavy metal music.

Design Observational studies, focus group, and biomechanical analysis.

Participants Head bangers.

Main outcome measures Head Injury Criterion and Neck Injury Criterion were derived for head banging styles and both popular heavy metal songs and easy listening music controls.

Results An average head banging song has a tempo of about 146 beats per minute, which is predicted to cause mild head injury when the range of motion is greater than 75°. At higher tempos and greater ranges of motion there is a risk of neck injury.

Conclusion To minimise the risk of head and neck injury, head bangers should decrease their range of head and neck motion, head bang to slower tempo songs by replacing heavy metal with adult oriented rock, only head bang to every second beat, or use personal protective equipment.

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