Paleontologists theorize the T-Rex had kissable lips and an ass that won't quit

The paleontology world is abuzz this week:

following the release of a new study which concludes that the tyrannosaurus rex, a massive bipedal carnivore that went extinct 66 million years ago, possessed soft, smoochable lips in addition to their absolute dump truck behinds.

"It's always been hypothesized that T-Rexes had ample junk in the trunk and a toothy grin, but aided by advanced computer modeling we can now conclusively say that they were indeed bottom-heavy sweeties with generous, lippy smiles," said Dr. John Mendez, head of Cretaceous Studies at the Royal Vancouver Museum.

"While it's common to depict T-Rexes as vicious predators with a mouth full of exposed teeth similar to that of an alligator or crocodile, our modeling suggests they actually would have been excellent kissers with a highly squeezable ass, if their tiny arms hadn't precluded the possibility of T-Rex-on-T-Rex ass squeezing."

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7 Responses:

  1. Mike McGee says:

    I had always wondered. Sam Altman is spinning in his grave.

  2. 3

    Holocene face with a Cretaceous booty...

  3. Flotsam says:

    Fat arse, toothy grin, little hands, predatory behaviour. Trump Rex, obviously.

  4. CSL3 says:

    So... Chuck Tingle's erotica is correct?

  5. Rob says:

    They were all in god-mode sorta ruining the game

  6. Steinar Bang says:

    Good one! (but I was alert today)

  7. S-Config says:

    well, this will make Chuck Tingle happy .

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