Dear Lazyweb, any ideas on why TextCat doesn't seem to be firing?

# This is working: message gets "X-Spam-Language: ja.shift-jis" added to it.
add_header all Language _LANGUAGES_

# This is being ignored maybe?
ok_languages en
ok_locale en

# This is supposed to fire but does not:

# This doesn't fire either:
header UNWANTED_LANGUAGE_HEADER X-Spam-Language =~ /\bja\b/

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I'd like to report a Bird Murder

What was your reaction last week when you found out that Bird was pulling out of the city?

Aaron Peskin: Not to sound sarcastic, but my reaction was that they came in as a classless, high-handed, bull-in-a-china-shop organization and left in the same way that they came in: Immature, incompetent and, as I said the other day, I don't think anybody had their feelings hurt when this bird flew the coop. [...]

There were no conversations with the Board of Supervisors. Bird chose to deploy thousands of scooters for hire in San Francisco in the spring of 2018 without a permit to operate, which they did because they wanted to occupy the field, and local laws be damned. And then they only communicated with the San Francisco MTA and the Board of Supervisors and the mayor through press releases, most of which, by the way, were factually inaccurate.

I've never seen a corporate actor behave in such an irresponsible, consistently irresponsible fashion.

[...] The guy who started Bird came out of a scorched-earth, Travis Kalanick school of "Don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness."

Actually, don't ask for forgiveness or permission.

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Today in Haunted Vagina news

The Knight Who Could Make Cunts Speak:

"Le Chevalier qui fist parler les cons", 1340.

[...] In gratitude, the three fairies bestow gifts upon the knight to help him achieve riches. [...] The second fairy gives him the gift that if he speaks directly to a vagina, the vagina will be compelled to speak back. The third fairy adds to the second fairy's gift: if a vagina is in some way incapacitated and unable to speak, the person's anus will be able to talk to him. [...]

The knight asks the countess's vagina where she'd just gone, and the vagina cannot answer on account of having half a kilo of fabric in it. Whatever the knight tries, that pussy was just not talking.

He starts to panic, until Huet reminds the knight of his third gift - the Chekhov's talking butthole, hanging on the wall since the first act.

This, incidentally, is one of those Mastodon accounts that I would like to follow but can't, because of their horrid use of threads. You'd think they might have a blog that I could follow in RSS instead, and they might, but I can't tell because... they let their domain expire. Great job everybody.

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Stop Doing Threads



  • YEARS of POSTING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for a low character limit
  • Wanted a low character limit anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "SMS"
  • "My post got so long that I had to split it into 10 parts. Stay tuned for the 20 part sequel" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged

LOOK at what Mastodon Users have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the Fediverse and protocols WE built for them:
(This is REAL Posting, done by REAL Mastodon Users)

  • Why communism will win, a 🧵 (1/255)
  • Why I should be allowed to index all your posts for profit, a thread (1/X)
  • The rise and fall of Twitter (283/185,781)

"Hello, I would like a 500 character limit please"
They have played us for absolute fools

I agree with this so much.

There are a number of interesting accounts that I keep trying to follow on Mastodon but their use of threads just makes it untenable for me to follow them.

They post these multi-thousand word essays -- essays that I am actually interested in reading -- but rather than posting a svelte 500 character thesis statement with a link to an actual blog post, they split the thing up into 20+ parts, which means that A) I'm reading the god damned thing backwards and B) they completely dominate my timeline to the extent that if I want to scroll back and find something else that I saw earlier in the day, I can't find it, because my timeline is 90% their-single-post by volume.

Fucking knock it off, people. Blogs exist for a reason. Stop being awful.

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  • Previously