I am Jack's Smirking Return-To-Office Mandate

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13 Responses:

  1. CSL3 says:
    6

    What really kills me about the corporate RTO push (other than possibly catching COVID which could literally kill me) is Apple.

    I know they spent $5bn on the big cyber-doughnut ($160m just for the land itself), and I know the bosses love employees slamming into clean windows like lost pigeons. But I keep thinking of back in '98, when sibling-company Pixar were under the gun to finish Toy Story 2... and wound up deleting the whole goddamn thing. The only remaining copy was on the home hard-drive of Gayln Susman, who was remote working because she just had a baby. Again, that was back in '98.

    Then there's July 2020 (which seems forever ago), when Apple made a 7-min. COVID advert (below) about how Apple's products are oh-so-super-cool that they make the office itself obsolete.

    Christ forbid Apple use that $3Trillion (with a "T") valuation to, I dunno...
    - Convert the cyber-doughnut a major manufacturing facility that just happened to have offices?
    - Give all reported 145,000 Apple employees - from Tim Cook's personal assistants to Apple Store part-timers - a minimum salary of $60K/yr with full benefits?
    - Do all that 'n more without raising the price of a single Apple Watch?

    Nah, let's just fill the office and play the song "Happy Workers" from the Robin Williams movie Toys.

    • Nik says:

      " I know the bosses love employees slamming into clean windows like lost pigeons" made me laugh quite a lot, probably as a re-projection of the saddening downside of us being in the countryside and putting feeders within 20 feet of windows (surely disproving the idea of genetic memory)

      But also... How long before the collapse of the insane proliferation of streaming services and silver being another sibling company?

      "Not long", I hope, because surely history doesn't need to repeat itself just over a different wire/rf protocol this time?

  2. MattyJ says:
    5

    There are a surprising number of people where I work that want to go back to the office. Not surprising is that I notice most of them have multiple dogs, cats or kids wandering around in the background of their Zoom calls.

    • Dan says:
      8

      I keep seeing posts from people who say they get "energy" from working in-person.  Yeah, by feeding on my life force.

    • Nathan Williams says:
      1

      There are lots of practical reasons to prefer the office! Like not having enough space at home for a proper work setup, which I figure is a bigger deal for urbanites. Or in my case, I have a bit of space but terrible climate control, so the office is a respite from baking/freezing, seasonally.

      • Philip Guenther says:

        I believe I saw/heard something recently about how more energy is needed, specifically looking at California, to cool N individual homes/apartments vs one office building which held N** people.

        I have mixed feelings about this:

        • I was a remote software dev for almost 7 years starting Dec 2000, in both Tucson (swamp cooler required) and Denver metro (rare use of in-window A/C)
        • moved to CA (Bay area) and worked as "software architect" and then manager and director, mostly in-office until start of pandemic
          • including during those horribly smokey weeks back in late 2017, when you could see less than 1/4 mile out the office windows, bu the air inside was good
        • have worked almost entirely remotely since then
          • frequent A/C use when I lived in an apartment (did my neighbors run saunas?)
          • did one week of A/C this summer in a house with shade trees
        • I now only find being in the (sparsely used) office productive when I'm actually meeting or just chatting with people.  Standing at a computer in an office when the nearest person is 30' away is...unnerving to me now.  I can work at home with my partner in another room just fine, but that open space is not conducive to immersive thought, at least for me, now.

        So I'm torn:

        • put me back in Tucson, I would be looking at my power bill and going to the office
        • Denver or Bay area?  I can see how there are lots of multi-family housing setups which are not built to be energy efficient (or HEPA-rated!) methods of supporting at-home work, and given the existing capital investment in office space, I can see how it's environmentally wise to utilize what we have and spend the capital on building renewable energy infrastructure instead
        • but, well, I'm paid enough to not care and do what I want, but that's exactly how the Bay area is going to bring about the apocalypse

        ** with some correction factor for houses where multiple occupants previously had office jobs

  3. Apropos of nothing, it is yet again funny to me that the two biggest films of the turn of the millennium (also not coincidentally the two big films of the very early DivX era) feature the dingy green that defines NTSC so often.

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