Curb Pooper

You can just poop out curbs! I feel like our bike lanes need some late-night vigilante improvements.

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20 Responses:

  1. 16

    The man that built the curb poop machine
    Thought it was mighty fine
    But John Henry pooped out fifteen feet
    The machine only pooped out nine, Lord Lord
    The machine only pooped out nine.

  2. Ronald P says:

    So, drive bars into the ground, to anchor the curb to, just pour over them. Only problem I see is that while you can get concrete that you can walk on in two hours and drive on in 8, is that fast enough? Because you're still looking at a month for full strength.

    • jwz says:

      The number one thing that keeps cars out of bike lanes is fear of getting their paint scratched.

      The curb could be a hologram and would be like 70% effective.

  3. Big says:

    Surely there’s someone in your extended friend circle or club regulars who’s got a cement mixer truck from that time they were really high and saw it on eBay and figured “that’s *perfect* for a Burningman art car!” and it’s been sitting in a lot in Oakland or Vallejo or somewhere?

    Borrow that and get one of these things, buy some scuffed up old hi vis vests and hard hats from Goodwill or somewhere, and roll down Valencia St in the middle of the day.

  4. Jeff Allen says:

    I want to know why the engineer who made that think thought the hopper should be 1 and a half shovels big.

    • ...he wanted to avoid curb poop constipation.

    • jer says:

      Just look at the rest of that contraption: it looks very much like a prototype or a one-off designed to save a few man hours and then rubber-stamped and commissioned because that is exactly what it turned out to do. There is no evidence of ergonomic considerations for the operator either and must cause quite a bit of a pain in the back after working it a few minutes, bent over the whole thing to monitor pooping progress holding on to that flimsy little rail with your head held close the combustion engine on top of it. Obviously, if you bolted a bigger hopper onto it, and loaded it with fresh poop, it would simply collapse and never save those man hours again.

      • jwz says:

        That's a cool theory, except that if you (like me) fell down a curb pooper hole and watched dozens of videos of these devices in action from various manufacturers, you'd have noticed that they are all pretty much exactly the same. So no, it's not a prototype, it's Industry Standard.

        • JeR says:

          So the actually cool theory is that the Industry Standard went with the smallest amount of "valuable" space taken from the motorised lane to the detriment of the existing bicycle lane being made safer and to the detriment of the road workers installing it. That's plausible. But note that my "cool theory" merely critisised the bad ergonomics; I didn't actually even intend to imply the theory of "they just ran with the prototype" while mocking their ergonomics, but yes, it starts to make sense to me that they would invest as little as possible into things only tangentially related to paving for motorised traffic.

        • m. crane says:

          "fell down a curb pooper hole"

  5. cmt says:

    You've got a curb, other people did a house:

    • asan102 says:

      Release this promo vid in 2020 of a house *beginning* to be built, then never mentioned it again. Seems legit.

      • cmt says:

        It was in the news (at least locally) a few times more, and it even had a short segment on children's tv over here, where they mentioned someone would be moving in soon (but of course I can find anything of that online, because... don't get me started). Anyways, that's the architect of that:

  6. Chris says:

    I feel like this is affordable:
    You'll need a generator but this isn't too bad.

    Those unprotected bike lanes seem worse to me than no bike lanes. At least one is honest. Here we have those plastic thin post thingies that cars can easily run over until they just disappear. Totally useless.

  7. ibs says:

    is this website like a way back mishing

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