Don't list your survivalist bunker on Zillow

Millionaire survivalist nutjob builds bunker for the helter skelter race war. Non-millionaire survivalist nutjob with AR-15 thinks, "I would like to live in that bunker, so I will just murder the family in their sleep and move in."

Zillow: 1266 Willis Branch Rd, Richmond, KY 40475. $6,500,000.

NYT:

"My feelings were that we were going to have civil unrest because there was so much going on with Obama," Mr. Morgan said. He believed that people were going to rise up against the attempts to overhaul health care and restrict guns, and that societal collapse would soon follow. He envisioned "roving bands of gangs" hunting for food and necessities in the aftermath. He bought riot gear, bulletproof vests and a small arsenal of firearms, so that "if you had to engage a band of marauders, you would have a chance to save your family." [...]

Mr. Morgan quickly considered his other guns -- another pistol in the drawer, the 12-gauge shotgun in the closet, the AR-15 in the guest bedroom -- but saw his cellphone on the nightstand. He grabbed it and called the police.

"See, that's another thing I hate myself for," he said. [...]

According to a search warrant application, Mr. Gilday had researched a number of houses in Kentucky before settling on the Morgans'. All of them shared one feature: a bunker. [...]

Mr. Morgan instead speculated about political forces that might have it in for him and his family. He talked about hired assassins and past CIA experiments with brainwashing, and suggested that a violent attack on the home of a Second Amendment champion like himself had all the signs of an operation to justify more gun control.

"I just think that I was chosen to be a false flag," he said.

This made a lot more sense to him than murdering a family to get to their bunker.

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12 Responses:

  1. the hatter says:
    4

    Survivalist fantasist, meet survivalist reality.

  2. Michael V. says:
    1

    I might want to hide in a bunker too, if my home was that damn ugly.

  3. MS says:
    3

    There's a saying, "If anyone knows you're a prepper, you're not a prepper."

  4. 2

    ...first rule of Prep Club...

  5. Karellen says:

    "I just think that I was chosen to be a false flag," he said.

    This made a lot more sense to him than murdering a family to get to their bunker.

    I never thought leopards would try to kill my family and raid my survival bunker, sobs man who built survival bunker to protect his family from herds of leopards.

    Yup, that's another irony meter that just exploded. I'm gonna have to start ordering them in bulk.

  6. "Shannon V. Gilday, a 23-year-old former soldier"

    The Tragedy of the United States of America.

  7. dzm says:
    1

    The photos on Zillow are an eclectic grab-bag. They show a monstrous home on a hill (answering the question: "What if I was willing to write any number of zeroes on a check made out to Home Depot and use whatever appeared on the truck to decorate with"). But they also show rope lights over a patio that are sagging, as though tacked up by a dag on a 6' ladder trying to reach to a 9' nook. And extension cords pulled over the floor in the photo. No photos at all of the upstairs bedrooms (yeah yeah - crime scene, etc). The garage has a pile of garbage in it along with a used mattress/box spring set. The drone shots show a large industrial shed off to the side (and a porta potty! Is that included in the $6.5m?), but no photos of the workshop/barn/whatever interior.

    But finally - if a major selling point is the prepper shelter on which no expense has been spared, why are there no photos of the 2,000 square feet of living space where you and your family will wait out the zombie apocalypse? Why only vault doors and a pantry? And of the photos that DO exist, why does the decoration seem to be heavily leaning into "industrial parking garage" esthetic? Surely you'd want wood paneling, and bright colors, and a sex dungeon.

    Nothing makes any sense. "Thanks, Obama."

  8. jwz says:
    10

    You will be unsurprised to note that I've already deleted a comment here from an ammosexual enumerating for us, in detail, the ways in which this guy's mistakes were that his survivalist nutjob compound was insufficiently hardcore and insufficiently antisocial.

  9. thielges says:

    Richmond, KY is next door to the Blue Grass Army Depot where a load of the Army’s chemical weapons are stored. So maybe the thought of WMD enhanced Total War influenced the basement architecture.   

    In the late 70s a herd of cattle was found dead in a valley near the BGAD.   A leak of sarin or MX was presumed though I don’t recall whether the army fessed up.  

  10. Scott says:

    This guy is the model of many in the GOP now.  They see themselves as men who if need be can "defend their families" yet they have no firearms or self defense training.  He seems himself as a "survivalist" but wouldn't have the first clue what to do if the shit truly did hit the fan.

    Survivalism, weapons proficiency, self defense etc are skills that have to be developed and maintained.  And above all, it's something you shut the fuck up about and hope like hell you never have to use any of it.

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