Tentacles? In MY vaccine?

New Hampshire Republican state Rep. Ken Weyler, Ladies and Gentlemen.

The lengthy document that the 79-year-old chair of the House finance committee sent to his colleagues claims the vaccine is part of a plot "to gain 100% control over the minds of all of humanity."

The document is also full of anti-Catholic bigotry, claiming the Vatican is ruled by multiple popes, including a "grey pope" who is the "supreme puppet master."

"We must understand that this criminal network is highly spiritual in nature, and all who are at the top are involved in dark ancient spiritual practices," the report claims. "To put it bluntly, they are satanists, also called luciferians."

The document also claims that both the Moderna and Johnson & Johnson vaccines were examined under a microscope, which revealed a tentacled creature in each vial that "moves around, lifts itself up, and even seems to be self aware."

The New York Times will no doubt sit down in a rural diner with the illuminati fuckdemon vaccine tentacle monster to hear its side of the story.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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21 Responses:

  1. Brian B says:

    This sort of thing is why Molly Ivins would say "The Legislature is in session, and across the land, many a village is missing its idiot."

    • Elusis says:

      I sometimes bemoan the fact that we don't have Molly Ivins to reflect these times back to us.

      Then again, I sometimes am grateful that she didn't live to see what incredible depths of fuckery we've proven to be capable of. The Lege and its fuckery is now just a symptom of the larger pandemic.

  2. David T says:

    Rep. Ken Weyler, member of the American Legislative Exchange Council, has resigned as Chair of the NH House Finance Committee.

  3. Krinn DNZ says:

    at least this twit has mistaken schlock classic Species (1995) for documentary, rather than going for lesser horror movies like so many of his contemporaries

  4. Bill Paul says:

    Apparently this is the document in question:

    https://www.stopworldcontrol.com/downloads/en/vaccines/vaccinereport.pdf

    I... can't even.

    From the article about his resignation:

    "Deputy Speaker Steven Smith told WMUR that Weyler did not read past the first few pages of the document he shared with the Fiscal Committee."

    Something something own research something something.

    • jwz says:

      But why would a Representative want to Stop World Control?

    • pavel says:

      I guess illiterate and incompetent is better than senile and insane.

      • Dude says:

        Is it, though? It's splitting hairs.

        I remember waaaaaay back in the mid-2000s when I actually still watched Bill Maher (I was a different man back then). The panel included Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder and they were discussing the book Reagan: A Life in Letters, which supposedly revealed some hitherto unknown intelligence from The Gipper.

        Maher asked about the possibility of one day reading something that revealed similar intelligence about Dubya, to which McGruder shot back...

        Let's say, y'know, ten years from now we discover all these really intelligent things that "Dubya" has written. Does it somehow make it better if he was actually a genius and masterminded the dumb thing in order to manipulate people? Does that make you go back and go "Oh, that's better - he was an evil genius instead of an evil idiot"?

  5. Dude says:

    I still haven't seen the 007 flick Spectre, but judging by its title sequence, I'm guessing it's about James Bond fighting against the vaccine?

    That would actually fit in with the pro-imperialist tone of the series.

    • tfb says:

      I can already hear the high-pitched whining from the mob, the splendid-but-vacuous speech, full of offensive wit and classical allusion, from our glorious yellow god-emperor, and the cascade of stentorian articles from the self-proclaimed 'anti-woke' brigades of crypto-fascists in the press, when the next Bond is revealed to be any combination of black, female, gay or anything else they don't like.

      Two weeks later the new Bond will be revealed to be white, straight, male and fond of rapinghaving sex with underagemuch younger women, often converting them from their aberrant but, you know, kind of exciting ('schoolgirls having sex!'), lesbian tendencies in the process, as is the duty of all upstanding men. The black/gay/female Bond will never have existed and the glorious empire will last forever, its history forever new.

      Four weeks after that someone will find I have written this and other things questioning the new white history and spewing vile falsehoods against the emperor-god and his innumerable children (truly, he is the goat with a thousand young) and I will be sent to the camps for reeducation.

      • James C. says:

        Your transportation to the camps has been booked. Please report to the nearest processing center immediately.

      • margaret says:

        may your bubble never be burst.

      • jwz says:

        My thoughts on James Bond begin and end with, "Wow, they're still making those?"

        Seeing people get worked up about it is like hearing people talking about a new season of The Honeymooners. Like why, just why.

        • Dude says:

          I had that same thought when I realised a new Purge movie came out this year. The virus isn't the only thing keeping me away from the cinema.

        • tfb says:

          The interesting question, really, is why they do well outside the UK (I assume they do)? Obviously they do well here because, as we're all discovering, the sun never must set on the glorious English ... oh, I mean British, of course, at least for a while ... empire[*]. I wouldn't be surprised if our new emperor is arranging for them to be funded, even. But why do people watch them elsewhere?

          To be fair the Daniel Craig ones have been much better than the previous ones, at least the ones I've seen.

          [*] which, amusingly, it hasn't.

  6. apm74 says:

    The New Hampshire House has 400 members. So its basically everyone in New Hampshire.

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