Why CAPTCHA Pictures Are So Unbearably Depressing

CAPTCHA images are never joyful vistas of human activity, full of Whitmanesque vigor. No, they're blurry, anonymous landscapes that possess a positively Soviet anomie.

Each cube here is a tone poem in melancholia. Looking at these leaden vistas of America makes you, slightly but noticeably, feel worse than you did before. [...]

These pictures! My god. They're simply ashudder with suspense and dread. That taxi in the middle frame: What dread cargo does it carry, to what wretched appointment? The bottom right photo looks like something you'd see plastered on a WANTED poster. And good grief, in the bottom left: What looming terror is casting that fuzzy, Lovecraftian shadow? [...]

This is why CAPTCHA photos are a nonstop brutalist slideshow of metal and concrete. It is as if someone took you on a tour of a lovely scenic town, but strapped you into horse blinders and forced you to stare only at fire hydrants. [...]

They weren't taken by humans, and they weren't taken for humans. They are by AI, for AI. They thus lack any sense of human composition or human audience. They are creations of utterly bloodless industrial logic. Google's CAPTCHA images demand you to look at the world the way an AI does.

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DNA Lounge: Wherein it's time for you to VOTE!

Ok, first of all, please vote NO on the stupid Republican recall of Newsom. I am no Newsom fan, but if the recall succeeds we're going to have a batshit insane horse-paste MAGA radio host who doesn't believe in vaccines in charge of the world's 5th largest economy. And that would be bad, mmmkay?

Apparently only 24% of the mailed ballots have been returned. It's sitting right there on your desk. Vote NO, mail it. The ballot only has two questions on it, and the second one doesn't matter.

Second!

It's Best of the Bay time again. Vote for us! Categories for your consideration:

  • Best Takeout: DNA Pizza
  • Best Pizza: DNA Pizza
  • Best Overall Bar: DNA Lounge
  • Best Dance Company: Hubba Hubba Revue
  • Best Theatre Company: Hubba Hubba Revue
  • Best Performance Space: DNA Lounge
  • Best Live Music Venue: DNA Lounge
  • Best Nightclub: DNA Lounge
  • Best Dance Party: Bootie SF, Turbo Drive, Cyberdelia, So Stoked, Wasted, Sequence, Death Guild...
  • Best Burlesque: Hubba Hubba Revue
and
  • Nightclub trying hardest to keep you alive during a global pandemic: DNA Lounge

Ok, that last one isn't a real category, but it should be.

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