The primary completion, "Lisa R", is someone I have not exchanged email with in probably 15 years. "Lisa H" is someone I email multiple times a day. They're not even alphabetical!!
Nuts are an ideal high-priced items to steal and resell because unlike electronic devices, pistachios don't have serial numbers -- making them virtually untraceable. [...]
Thieves have used forged documents, fake companies and computer hacking to pose as legitimate truckers. Similarly, the thieves are also able to sell off the product to retailers, who are none the wiser about who is actually receiving the money. [...]
When detectives inspected the truck, they found the pistachios siphoned into 2,000-pound sacks -- making it easier for resale, police said.
Spider monkeys flee the crime scene after committing what we can only assume is some sort of high-rise fruit heist.