ENGAGEMENT!

Every time we post to our Facebook account, it immediately gets 2-5 one-word comments from random Indian dudes with locked accounts that are years old and have thousands of friends:

"How are you doing, fellow San Francisco nightclub enthusiasts?"

This has increased dramatically in the last couple of months, so I guess we've attracted the attention of the Eye of Sauron of some botfarm.

To report these spam comments is a tiny, totally tractable number of clicks. Barely any clicks at all. Hardly worth mentioning:

  1. Click profile
  2. Ellipsis menu
  3. Find support
  4. Fake account (as "spammer" is not an option)
  5. Next
  6. Yes
  7. Report
  8. Next

To delete the stupid comment in what I gather to be the most effective way is also hardly any clicks at all, pretty much zero effort:

  1. Ellipsis menu
  2. Find support
  3. Spam
  4. Next
  5. Done

  6. Ellipsis menu
  7. Hide comment

  8. Ban (this link only appears after "Hide comment")

  9. Ellipsis menu
  10. Delete comment

If you do any of those things out of order, the "ban" option isn't available. They make it far easier to "block", but all that does is prevent me from seeing these assholes, it doesn't prevent others from seeing their spam comments. Also it's not clear to me whether "ban" means "from commenting on this post" or "from commenting on any of my page's posts".

But hey! The next day they email you to let you know that they have reviewed your report! Of course there is no way for you to know their decision. (Spoiler: it was to take no action.)

Also "Mary" (tagline "Only God is enough") wants you to know that she's selling her ticket due to dead sister ("painful loosing a family"). The ticket she's trying to sell was for a free event yesterday afternoon that had no tickets on sale, what with us having not sold a single ticket in 13 months.

Remember, everybody: Facebook's advertising engine is a hypnotism mind-control ray that can turn anyone into a Nazi in a week, and they are absolutely not just curating a spam cesspool full of shockingly transparent grifters.

It's slightly less bad on Instagram: only about one a week over there, and those are usually of the form, "Nice! Promote this post on @HipHopFans32767!" Or DMs offering to sell followers, a perennial favorite.

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6 Responses:

  1. Doctor Memory says:

    "That's one hell of an act, what do you call it?"

    This deck was going around shortly after the 2016 election and I haven't seen any reason to revise its conclusions: Adtech is a Psyop.

  2. J. Peterson says:

    "Half of all advertising dollars are wasted. The problem is, nobody knows which half."

    The creation of trillion dollar internet advertising platforms has not changed this maxim.

  3. Derpatron9000 says:

    You can do it people, remove this shitshow from your life.

  4. Soupdragon says:

    I'd pay real money for social media apps with big single-click instablock buttons.

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