Crypto Fart

"Crypto art" is literally just "numbered prints, but each time I sign my name I also promise to burn down a local park."

In case you are fortunate enough to have not heard about this latest con:

Someone has convinced a bunch of innumerate artists that Dunning-Krugerrands are not a planet-incinerating Ponzi scheme. I've had to start blocking them on the Twits to avoid hearing about it, even the artists whose work I used to enjoy. They think that making a buck trumps setting the world on fire. "Proof of useless work" is a global suicide pact.


If anyone wants to pay me crypto art prices to make them a gif or a png we can skip the middle man here. I'll even draw you up a special certificate that says it's your gif or png.

I can send you a paper copy too. Let's get nuts.

You wouldn't even have to use as much electricity as Delaware to do it. If you want I can like sent you a certificate dedicating a full year of our home's electrical use in your name, it can be part of the art.


How does this help rich people launder money?


Could you write out the certificate in binary so it feels more legit?


Imagine if keeping your car idling 24/7 produced solved Sudokus you could trade for heroin.

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7 Responses:

  1. thielges says:

    So this is just replacing the role of an art appraiser with validating a crypto-cert to authenticate the piece? Good luck with that. In a few decades checking an old cert will be like trying to find someone to read an old 9 track tape written in EBCDIC.

  2. My initial reaction to NFTs was imagining someone thinking “Hey, how do criminals launder their real money? Trading art? Sure, let’s do that.”

  3. Dude says:

    As if to further pile on evidence that environment-killing cryto is just a newfangled Ponzi scheme: Ja Rule - washed-up rapper now known as being the biggest hype man for that other big rip-off, the Fyre Festival - just sold his personal Fyre Fest poster as an NFT for $122,000.

    Meanwhile, people and businesses are still waiting for stimulus and recovery money.

    Oh, but not to worry - our pal Musk-oil says you can now use shitcoin to buy Teslas and pay for the next inevitable rocket explosion... and that high-speed train that'll never get built.

  4. thielges says:

    Dammit! Even SRL has jumped on the NFT bandwagon. I won’t even bother to link to the story.

    They should just sell their actual pieces. I want that giant 10Hz whistle that is powered by a 12 cylinder Diesel engine.

    • jwz says:

      I am the mayor of this... 64 digit hash... of a certificate representing... a photograph of... a lawnmower engine bolted to a plank?

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