Robot War Dog Company objects to their Robot War Dogs being called War Dogs

Boston Dynamics:
Today we learned that an art group is planning a spectacle to draw attention to a provocative use of our [military] robot, Spot. To be clear, we condemn the portrayal of our [military] technology in any way that promotes violence, harm, or intimidation. [...]

In addition, all buyers [except the military] must agree to our Terms and Conditions of Sale, which state that our products must be used in compliance with the law, and cannot be used to harm or intimidate people or animals.

The "and" in that last sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting: armies, are they legal?

Anyway, it was very nice of Boston Dynamics, The Robot War Dog Company,™ to put out a press release drawing attention to this art project, but they seem to have mistakenly left out the link to the art project itself! What an embarrassing oversight! It's here:

Spot's Rampage by MSCHF:

We've put a Spot in an art gallery, mounted it with a .68cal paintball gun, and given the internet the ability to control it. We're livestreaming Spot as it frolics and destroys the gallery around it. Spot's Rampage is piloted by YOU! Spot is remote-controlled over the internet, and we will select random viewers to take the wheel.

WILL THERE BE A "WINNER"?

We're all winners in our hearts.

WILL THERE BE A LOSER?

The human race, when remote-operated dogs of war become commonplace. As these war dogs become fixtures of militaries and militarized police we will all learn a new meaning of fear: an oppressor who can pull the trigger without even needing to be physically present.

MANIFESTO

See Spot Run. It tops out at a blistering 3mph.

See Spot Roll Over. Spot is an empathy missile, shaped like man's best friend and targeted straight at our fight or flight instinct. When killer robots come to America they will be wrapped in fur, carrying a ball. Spot is Rob Rhinehart's ideal pet: it never shits.

Good Boy, Spot! Everyone in this world takes one look at cute little Spot and knows: this thing will definitely be used by police and the military to murder people. And what do police departments have? Strong unions! Spot is employee of the month. You never need to union bust a robot - but a robot can union bust you.

See Spot KILL!! Spot is an empathy building tool, because: Cute and approachable! We talked with Boston Dynamics and they HATED this idea. They said they would give us another TWO Spots for FREE if we took the gun off. That just made us want to do this even more and if our Spot stops working just know they have a backdoor override built into each and every one of these little robots.

See Spot Fall Over And Freak Out. Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave. Our saving grace: Spot is evil but not very good at its job.

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14 Responses:

  1. Dude says:

    I can't help but wonder if Daft Punk just broke up because they foresaw the aforementioned war-doggery and wanted no part of it?

    They know their fellow robots and androids are capable of terrible things, as many horrible '80s movies have shown us.

    • Jim says:

      Instead of quitting music why aren't they producing a song which countermands the dystopian edicts?

      • Dude says:

        I mean... that was basically what they did their whole career:

        Hell, their break-up video pretty much looks like the taller one being so tired with that fight that he'd rather activate he'd rather self-destruct. (This happens every time an AI prog. interfaces with Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide.)

  2. reboots says:

    All due respect to MSCHF, but Survival Research Labs would have used a real gun.

  3. mhoye says:

    MSCHF: "we will all learn a new meaning of fear: an oppressor who can pull the trigger without even needing to be physically present."

    Some Afghan Village: "'We', you say."

  4. MattyJ says:

    If any millionaires out there have money to burn, I have a business proposal involving about 20 of these, first-person attached live video feeds, and meatspace remote COVID-friendly Doom tournaments.

  5. Karellen says:

    Reminds me of the time someone took one of the War Dog commercials and just replaced the original upbeat audio with the Terminator 2 theme: The Boston Dynamics SPOT commercial with Terminator 2 music is the "Oz/Dark Side" of our generation

  6. Glaurung says:

    13 years into the smartphone era and 10 years into the tablet era, and we have come full circle. Instead of websites that on phones sport unreadable ant-sized text, we now have websites that look absurd on anything but a phone.

    Tim Berners-Lee sees MSCHF's web developers and judges them harshly from behind the screen of his vintage NEXT cube.

  7. dcapacitor says:

    We absolutely need projects like this to warn people. Metropolis did an amazing job as a warning against fascism, and The Terminator made generations of people really think about the dangers of turning decision making over to the machines. I don't remember what RoboCop did exactly, but I'm positive it prevented a much darker possible future and made a bunch of rich assholes change their evil ways or something.

    I'm sure that as soon as people see this, they'll immediately realize the potential dangers of Boston Dynamics machines and will definitely not think that a robot dog with guns strapped to it is a fucking great idea. Especially men with Assault Life stickers on their lifted trucks.

    • margaret says:

      they will definitely not think of escalating beyond a gun-dog that can barely get out of its own way.

      [BAD IFRAME]

  8. Schneider says:

    Boston dynamics are going to make FNAF real

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