Meanwhile, Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett wins permission for meditation room at her haunted £4.9m Sussex mansion despite discovery of bat colony.

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8 Responses:

  1. Zaaina Mahvish says:

    🦇👹

  2. tfb says:

    'Because I am an important rich important person. My momentary convenience is much more important than some mere endangered bats who have been living here for a hundred years. Also I would like to demolish this nice thing to replace it with some nice shiny expensive-but-meaningless shed and think my important thoughts. Here, tiny insignificant councilpeople, have some nice money, now I am sure you will agree with me. I am very important by the way.'

    • margaret says:

      i have a shed i'd like to replace on my property but let me seek your input before proceeding. i think there might be some mice or rats living in it, and even though they are the most common mice and rats in the county i know you may want escalate that to "endangered." in the meantime the shed looks like its ready to tip over and kill someone so please weigh in at your earliest. your approval is critical to me. i can work with you on what i replace it with to make sure it meets your approval - i'd hate to put something on my property, with my money, for my use, that you do not approve of. since i'm not rich or famous this should be easy, right?

      • jwz says:

        I mean, can't we just focus on the fact that these bats are haunted?

        • margaret says:

          if the bats had dongs like over at gwyneth paltrow's shed you'd have my attention.

          speaking of bat fellatio - the video in this paper slays me. i mean, did the primary researcher ask some intern to sex it up before including it?

          • margaret says:

            and of course now i see that the paper is already in a previously! of course it is.

      • tfb says:

        You do realise that mice and rats are not the same as bats? And that all species of bat found in the UK are protected? And that Sussex is in the UK?

        And, you know, unlike you, I have actually lived in a house with bats (most of them lived in an old adit we think, but they spent a bunch of time in the house). But not being important rich people who could just do whatever we liked we had to obey the law, so we had to live with them and couldn't just reorganise our house and block up the quite-dangerous-and-definitely-falling-down adit (don't drink the water, for sure, although the bats did not seem to mind it). Of course, having bats fly up and down the corridor along the top of the house and into the bedrooms in the evenings, suitably terrifying unwary guests, was cool as fuck so that helped.

        Yes, I know, just wade in and kill everything, who cares if they go extinct, right? Fuck you.

  3. shervin says:

    Great idea. Let us displace more bats. We could use a bit more zoonosis in this new decade.

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