Pandemic roundup, March 222nd

Violet Blue:

Right now the West Wing is empty. There are a couple aides, residence staff, and medical personnel; the absolute minimum skeleton crew. There are less of them every day. They are being infected one by one. They are dressed head to toe in personal protective equipment: gloves, masks, gowns, clear plastic face shields. They nervously attend to, and try to minimize damage from, a highly infectious Donald Trump. None of the aides trust each other and every day they try to avoid coming in because they cannot run away from him if he approaches. [...]

Before Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was laid to rest, a celebration was held at the White House. The festive garden party occasion was, quite simply, a rejoicing of her death. Specifically, it was exploiting an opportunity to revel in attendees' newfound freedom to undo the human rights advances Ginsburg spent her life fighting for.

The September 26 party was a who's-who affair of well-heeled conservatives whose slavish devotion to Donald Trump knows no bounds. Not even the boundary of their lives. It is now being called the Rose Garden Massacre. Superspreader Saturday.

Donald Trump was infected and contagious as he attended that party and all the ancillary events of the weekend. From the most practical timelines, he had been infected for at least a few days, though no one will tell the truth about whether or not he was actually being tested, nor especially when his last negative test was. No matter; the White House covid test (widely known for being wrong half the time) was being used incorrectly, in addition to being an excuse for them all to eschew masks. Plus they all thought it was a good idea to let Trump's tests slide by testing everyone around him. Surely a virus plays by the rules of meritocracy. [...]

In the most practical piecing together of the timeline, Trump was Patient Zero, having infected Chair of the Republican National Committee Ronna Romney McDaniel on September 25. For every event Trump attended, at least one person (though usually more) have now tested positive -- nearly 40 people as of this writing. [...]

What about the Vice President, America's head of the covid task force? No one really knows what the true status of Pink Eye Pence McFly is, but since he's the reason Indiana's HIV outbreak was disastrous, unnecessary, and tragic, I bet we will soon.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Screaming Telegrams

Peaches Christ:

When we send the clown to your friend, the clown will arrive and stand outside the door or building with the victim's name on a large board. This way someone can suggest that this person go look out the window where they'll see a scary clown holding a board with their name on it under the words "I have a message for." At that point, if they can bring themselves to open the door, they'll get a creepy song, a personalized message, and some balloons. People ordering the clown can add extra gifts like a bottle of booze in a brown paper bag, used porno mags, etc.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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