To the Dean and Board of Trustees:
Thank you for submitting Miskatonic University's proposed COVID safety plan. We have a few brief comments and questions.
Social distancing in classrooms:
You write that "through queer and monstrous perversions of geometrical laws, students will be seated at blasphemous angles outside the curves of our dimensions, thus remaining safely six feet apart." Please clarify whether safe distancing could be achieved without resort to "loathsome horrors beyond human conception."
Herbert West, Health Inspector: