Today in Illuminati DNA Fuckdemon News

Stella Immanuel, Trump's New COVID-19 Doctor, says sexual visitations by demons and alien DNA are at the root of Americans' common health concerns.

She has often claimed that gynecological problems like cysts and endometriosis are in fact caused by people having sex in their dreams with demons and witches.

She alleges alien DNA is currently used in medical treatments, and that scientists are cooking up a vaccine to prevent people from being religious. And, despite appearing in Washington, D.C. to lobby Congress on Monday, she has said that the government is run in part not by humans but by "reptilians" and other aliens. [...]

Facebook and Twitter eventually deleted videos of Immanuel's speech from their sites, citing rules against COVID-19 disinformation. The deletions set off yet another round of complaints by conservatives of bias at the social-media platforms. Immanuel responded in her own way, declaring that Jesus Christ would destroy Facebook's servers if her videos weren't restored to the platform.

"Hello Facebook put back my profile page and videos up or your computers with start crashing till you do," she tweeted. "You are not bigger that God. I promise you. If my page is not back up face book will be down in Jesus name." [...]

In sermons posted on YouTube and articles on her website, Immanuel claims that medical issues like endometriosis, cysts, infertility, and impotence are caused by sex with "spirit husbands" and "spirit wives" -- a phenomenon Immanuel describes essentially as witches and demons having sex with people in a dreamworld.

"They are responsible for serious gynecological problems," Immanuel said. "We call them all kinds of names -- endometriosis, we call them molar pregnancies, we call them fibroids, we call them cysts, but most of them are evil deposits from the spirit husband," Immanuel said of the medical issues in a 2013 sermon. "They are responsible for miscarriages, impotence -- men that can't get it up." [...]

According to Immanuel, people can tell if they have taken a demonic spirit husband or spirit wife if they have a sex dream about someone they know or a celebrity, wake up aroused, stop getting along with their real-world spouse, lose money, or generally experience any hardship.

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19 Responses:

  1. ....Are we sure that's not Diamond and Silk in a lab coat?

  2. Zygo says:

    > scientists are cooking up a vaccine to prevent people from being religious

    That sounds very useful. Can we sign her up for the first clinical trial?

    • Zygo says:

      I also have other questions about this non-existent but highly useful vaccine. What's the dosage? Does it require multiple injections? What's the cost? Can it be administered in food? Does it have special storage or handling requirements? Can it be administered by flechette? So many questions. Asking for a friend.

  3. Eric says:

    I dunno, I might consider seeking a second opinion if my doctor told me my medical problems were caused by witches and dismissed vaccines as a conspiracy.

    • Wout says:

      That second doctor will claim it's nonsense and pseudo science. That's how you can tell that second doctor is a fraud.

      I mean, she works for the White House - how can she not be the real thing?

  4. Steve says:

    Finally, people are going to wake up and realize that Trump is a terrible president. That's a relief!

    • phuzz says:

      I'm still amazed that anyone didn't realise that he was going to be a terrible president, right from when he announced he was going to run.
      Mind you, while I was expecting the incompetence, I wasn't expecting the shear level of malevolence. Just so much cruelty, for the sake of being cruel.

      • jwz says:

        When I see headlines like "Biden has a chance to win Ohio" I just think, the fact that there's a chance that he might not means it's time to reset the simulation.

  5. Nick Lamb says:

    I looked for more information about her, and the first sites that looked at all trustworthy were BBC articles. But unfortunately they're in Pidgin, presumably because she's bigger news in West Africa (she claims that's where she's originally from) and while it's possible to somewhat muddle along if you're comfortable in English and have some idea how features like reduplication and negative concord work it's too much guesswork for technical stuff.

    So thanks I guess, because while "She is clearly batshit" comes across as is, I don't think "She believes endometriosis is caused by demons" would have made it.

    • Kyzer says:

      To be fair, there are a number of people out there who are both world-renowned experts and hold batshit insane views, sometimes even in similar topics. One does not discredit the other, one does not support the other.

      For example Linus Pauling has a Nobel Prize in Chemistry for his research on chemical bonds, and also promoted Vitamin C as a cure for a whole raft of things where there is a modest benefit (e.g. colds) or no proven benefit (e.g. cancers), leading to others like Matthias Rath selling it as a cure for HIV.

      Generally speaking, I wouldn't attack people for who they are, or for their lifestyle, or for who they associate with, or for their views outside their expertise, but rather I'd demand they show evidence for their claims before being allowed to promote them. Sadly, the rest of the world disagrees and promotes whomever is the most entertaining or alarming, or who most eloquently advocates for their existing views.

      • jwz says:

        When someone is painting the wall with their own feces, I tend not to say, "Wait, let's hear them out."

        I don't care if they do have a double major.

        • Kyzer says:

          If someone confirms through peer-reviewed, reproducable, randomized double-blind experiment that painting the wall with their feces has some therapeutic benefit, I will hear them out on that topic.

          The problem here is not that she's batshit insane, it's that she's making disproven claims in a slickly produced video that preys on ignorance. The solution is not to attack her personally, but to show why she and anyone else who makes those claims is wrong.

          Other medics have tested hydroxychloroquine on thousands of COVID-19 patients, quite intentionally, to find out if it works; you shouldn't dismiss or belittle them just because you're inclined to reject all Trump's statements. Their results can confirm it doesn't work. This is also why the FDA revoked its Emergency Use Authorization more than a month ago.

      • Jon says:

        With almost total certainty you can bet on, the people, like you, who discredit Pauling and/or his vitamin C evidence are either (1) pawns and hacks of the massive business of conventional medicine, (2) unwitting people who repeat their propaganda, (3) ignorant people who never actually looked deeply into Pauling's work and dietary supplements, or (4) people who fall into a combination of the former categories.

        Primarily it is the corrupt BUSINESS of orthodox medicine, their salespeople, shills, bogus astroturfers, and their allied mainstream media outlets who keep ridiculing Pauling as some deluded Nobel Prize winner. And it doesn't take a genius to see why: Pauling had been threatening the huge bottom line of big corporate medicine. Here is a good example of a hack MD who has been discrediting Pauling and supplements with disinformation and lies: read the scholarly article "2 Big Lies: No Vitamin Benefits & Supplements Are Very Dangerous" by Rolf Hefti, a published author of the Orthomolecular Medicine News organization.

        But you can’t discredit the facts with lies. That only exposes and discredits the liars (see citation above).

  6. nooj says:

    "I double dog dare y'all give me a urine sample," Immanuel tweeted in her challenge.

  7. n2 says:

    Surprised birth control in the form of condoms or even pulling out is still not high on the agenda of spirit husbands.

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