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"Behold, the Apple Pro Stand of ham holders"
Tags: art, blobs, loaf, mad science, perversions
Current Music: The Billy Nayer Show -- The Ham Song ♬
15 Responses:
When your ham costs $4,500.
Funny because I always associated Ibérico ham with Spanish dive bars. Every bar has some range of tapas available and the skeeziest of them only have ham and stale bread. Look around and you’ll find a ham in holder hanging out behind the bar curing for who knows how long in cigarette smoke and housefly spittle.
Almost certainly isn't Iberico, but some other, lesser ham.
Here’s one for twice price
Some people are serious about their Jamon Iberico.
(Coincidentally IOS autocorrects Jamon to Jamie)
Obligatory "avoid spikes."
Can't this also be used for bottles of wine?
You'll need a really sharp knife, I guess.
...and/or a very soft bottle.
I'd suggest a champagne sabre, but there might not be enough room to drag it up the bottle:
Which will probably lead to a lot of this:
From the actual product description, not a fake review:
Used by professional Spanish ham carvers in restaurants and ham carving tournaments.
I didn't know my life was missing ham carving tournaments until now.
I'm from Spain and ham carving tournaments are a very real thing. Judges measure things like speed and how thin the slices are. Ham slicing is serious matter here: there is even an App to learn how to do it (link in Spanish). Yes, I also think this is crazy.
Needs wheels.
One day, a coworker saw something on a mailing list he had to share. "Hey everybody, look at this company that makes metal tools for de-bunging cows and cracking pig spines" (there is a whole line of tools that remove buttholes from cows and crack pig spines as part of industrial meat processing).
I thought the name of the company sounded familiar, and yes, it was a factory in my hometown. All these years I thought they just made "metal parts"
Many of the items on their pages resemble this ham holder.(http://www.jarvisproducts.com/)
That link is worthy of the grim meathook future tag. Cheerfully announced on the home page: “Jarvis now has robots for the kill floor!”
Jesus, I found one of the Jarvis kill floor bots:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g2YPfHDu9A
Honestly, this damn thing is pretty disturbing. If you had it installed behind a drapery-shrouded window next to your porch, it could handily dispatch solicitors. Looks like it was manufactured on Stroggos...