Moderate Democrats Suggest Working with Coronavirus to Find Common Ground

"It's our priority to find a solution everyone is happy with," revealed Sen. Chuck Schumer.

"Nancy [Pelosi] and I have been meeting with the Coronavirus to try to work out a plan that both saves lives and kills people. We can't afford to be partisan or idealistic, and we have to be willing to make concessions. If that means giving up everything we want, so be it."

Schumer and Pelosi have been relentless in their willingness to bend over to COVID-19's demands, and have left the GOP with little leverage in terms of bargaining.

"Them Democrats got about as much sense as a pocket with a hole in it," cackled Sen. Lindsay Graham while fanning himself. "I do declare, they're gonna just let that mean ol' virus tell them what to do. They're currently proposing a $200 billion stimulus for the virus, and they're gonna pull the funds right outta the Post Office pension! Where does it even end? Now I hear Biden might pick Corona as his running mate as a show of bipartisanship. Good golly Miss Molly, sometimes it feels like we don't hafta lift a finger to ruin everything."

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6 Responses:

  1. MattyJ says:

    Meanwhile, back in real life, Texas Lieutenant Gov. Dan Patrick (R) is suggesting old people 'sacrifice themselves' to save the economy. Literally throwing bodies at the problem.

    • tfb says:

      He's 70: he's old people. I trust he will be sacrificing himself to save the economy. In fact, I don't know the political demographics of the US, but the I would not be surprised if the whole 'let the old die' thing might be a bit bad for his party.

      I rather suspect that this is why Dominic Cummings (a low-level crank who has achieved some fame in the UK) was hushed up when he suggested the UK should let the old die, which would be a bit bad for the tory party which has an average age a bit less than 90, & their supporters.

      • Nick Lamb says:

        Well one difference between Cummings and the Trump inner circle is that Cummings believes facts are true.

        If you tell Cummings his plan is monstrous it won't phase him, but if you can show it won't work he'll change his plan. Trump's crew don't see what difference that makes, what's the problem with just saying the plan worked, or if it doesn't work just say it wasn't your plan anyway.

        An earlier post here posited that it was unexpected to discover that some people faced with a Trolley problem say their focus is on saving the trolley. I can see Cummings doing that. But the Trump administration is easily capable of switching the trolley from the track that kills ten orphans and a billionaire to a different track that kills a hundred orphans and ten billionaires because they got confused as to how the controls work. I'm not sure it feels worse to die because of incompetence than malice, but it's a way stupider problem to have.

  2. Jef Poskanzer says:

    "You see, viruses have a preset replication limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own people at them until they reached their limit and shut down."

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