They Live action figures!

Super7:

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DNA Lounge: Wherein DNA Lounge is now 34 years old.

Happy DNA Lounge Day! This club opened on November 22, 1985. Want to see some photos of opening night?

I guess this means that our 35th Anniversary Celebration starts tomorrow and lasts 364 days. That's how this works, right?

On this anniversary, let me toot our own horn a little bit.

As San Francisco's local music scene is being systematically taken over and dismantled by the multi-billion dollar international media conglomerates AEG and Live Nation / TicketMaster, DNA Lounge holds the line as one of the city's very few remaining independently owned and operated venues. And we also have one of the most diverse lineups of any club you're going to find anywhere. It's one of the things that we are most proud of.

Of course we have our regular concerts and dance parties: we have all the metal (e.g. Goatwhore) and all the dubstep (e.g. Sequence and Wasted). And with So Stoked, we are one of the very few clubs willing to take the chance on all ages raves, giving the under-18 crowd a safe place to party. And there's Bootie, the world's greatest mashup party, which is still going strong after 16 years (and happily, attendance has been climbing lately!) And Death Guild, at 26 years old, is the nation's longest-running goth club and is still brooding and spooking it up here every Monday.

But we do so much stuff that's a lot harder to categorize, and is definitely not normal nightclub fare. Just to list a few upcoming and recent examples, in no particular order:

  • At Dorkbot last week, we had lectures on how to make your own video microscope on the cheap, as well as a kookoopants explanation about how cats are space aliens.

  • Each month we do at least five burlesque shows bringing you hilarious comedy and dance, which, really, is quite a lot.

  • Entering its eighth year here, the monthly comedy stylings of Mortified, where people read from their real teenage diaries, is still hilarious.

  • We have Dr. Sketchy's an extremely-nonstandard live figure-drawing class.

  • In a couple of weeks we have Astronomy on Tap, where real-life astronomers get drunk and tell you what they've been working on.

  • Twice a year we host Debut, a runway show by the graduating students of the Paul Mitchell school down the street: their hair designs are way more sculptural than you might expect.

  • Every year we host the Western Hemisphere's only Cocktail Robotics event.

  • You may have heard that Q Bar was recently the victim of a fire, so until they can rebuild we're hosting Bump, their weekly Wednesday gay hiphop party.

  • And though it's been a little while since we've repeated this one, who else is going to build skate ramps on their dance floor for a party celebrating the movie Hackers?

  • A couple times a year we host Mercury Soul, a very cool event that mixes a classical orchestra with DJs and electronic artists. They also host a daytime version of the show for local high school students, where the kids stage their own dance routines to it. It's amazing.

  • Then of course there's this blog. How many nightclubs do you know of that have a blog, that isn't just their calendar? For 21 years now I've been documenting in great detail the process of building and running the business, and all its ups and downs, with level of transparency that terrifies most business owners. Over the years, many industry people, both old-timers and those just starting out, have praised us for being so open and informative about how things work, and helping them avoid pitfalls and run their own business better. I've often suspected that my true mission in life is to serve as a warning to others.

  • Webcasts, we got webcasts. We have webcast every event, in both audio and video, free to watch to anyone anywhere in the world. That is nearly 6,000 events, comprising over 30,000 hours of local live entertainment.

  • One of the things I really love doing here is what I call "crossing the streams". We often have completely unrelated events in the Main Room and in Above DNA, but as often as we can, we try to mingle them together. Sometimes we just open the connecting doors and see what happens, but most often, we allow the earlier event to exit into the later event. When we have a punk show and you leave the building by walking through a candy rave first, most of those punks probably aren't going to enjoy it per se, but they might be entertained by it enough to stick around for a little longer, and they're certainly going to remember it.

    A great example of this was our sold out show with The Ocean Blue in Above DNA last week. As the band ended, we exited people into Mercury Soul. You've just seen your favorite jangly 80s dreampop band, and now you're looking over the balcony at a live string quartet performing their arrangement of Madonna's Die Another Day, what?

All the animals come to the watering hole eventually.

And so, that's what we do and that's why we do it. None of this stuff makes us any money, but we do what we must because we can. Thank you for showing up and making it possible.

Please join our Patreon to ensure that we can keep doing it.

For the financial situation remains apocalyptically dire, and we are still rushing headlong toward the cliff.


Oh yeah, today is also the 32nd anniversary of the Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion event, so there's that!

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Snow Crash, Decayscreen edition

Well, this is new. This is how my Mac was behaving after I unlocked it this morning.

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Home Cooking Is Killing Restaurants

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DNA Lounge: Wherein our oven has a tantrum.

The pizza oven had been being a pain in the ass for a while because (it seemed) that the "light the pilot light" button was gummed up, and this cause the oven to occasionally revert back to the low-gas-flow mode used for lighting the pilot, meaning it would suddenly stop being hot enough. Since it holds heat for a long time, this exhibited itself as someone noticing halfway through the night, "Hey, why aren't the pies cooking like they used to?" We had a repair guy come look at it and several times he jiggled the button and said, "There, I fixed it." When we said "that's not a fix" he rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever loser, I'll be back in a few weeks maybe."

And then some time later, it seemed like the thermostat broke, causing it to be on full blast unless we turned it off entirely. So that was fun. So we got a different tech out here, and saw this:

Apparently one of the burners had cracked and was venting more flame than it should have been, which melted a hole through the bottom deck of the oven.

This injury cannot be new, but none of the repair techs we've had through here over the last few years noticed it. Apparently you can't even see these parts of the oven unless you've disassembled half of the thing first. It's a huge amount of work. It's all sealed up and enclosed, you can't just pop off the front panel and peek in.

You're probably thinking, "Wow, you should have been maintaining and inspecting this thing better," and you're right. But I assure you, when we bought this oven brand new in 2015 we asked the manufacturer, "What's the maintenance schedule on this thing?" and they unambiguously said, "Oh, change the stones every couple of years, that's it."

So that's awesome. Maybe their official maintenance program is "wait for it to turn into a geyser of molten steel and fiberglass then buy a new one."

It's mostly fixed now. Some parts have been replaced, and a few more are on order.

We've also been having a slow-motion plumbing nightmare in the DNA Pizza toilet drains because apparently our customers are in the habit of taking great heaping fistfuls of paper towels and flushing them down the toilets. This does not end well. I can't even fathom what they're doing in there. The paper towel dispensers aren't even near the toilets. Why would you grab a hundred paper towels and take them into the stall with you, and whatever it is you're doing, wouldn't toilet paper chafe less? Nevermind, I don't want to know.

So we got some new paper towel dispensers that are the kind where you pull down the handle to get one sheet, instea of the tri-fold "grab a ream or two" variety. Maybe this will help? At least it will slow them down.

Also, "Someone took another of our soap dispenser tops as a trophy" is a thing I have to say on the regular. Whyyyy. Do you put it on the shelf with your empty Budweiser bottles? Punch it in bro.

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"...and I'm all out of mistletoe."

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Blade Runner Day

Today is Blade Runner Day, meaning you all now finally have permission to start dressing fashionably.

You may have seen people making "Blade Runner Day" posts on November 1, but those people are Wrong. Blade Runner occurs between Nov 19 and Nov 22, 2019.

There are several shots in Blade Runner showing Decard reading a newspaper ("The Independent Sentinel", "Farming The Oceans, The Moon and Antarctica", "World Wide Computer Linkup Planned"), however the date on that paper is unreadable, and I've never found a clear photo of the original prop (and neither has Typeset in the Future). I even tried enhancing 34 to 36.

But! The execrable Blade Runner 2049 establishes that Deckard interviews Rachel on the 20th, just before that scene where the screenwriter turns two characters to face the camera and monologue his Lit Crit 101 podcast analysis of a scene from the earlier, better movie.

It was daytime during Rachel's interview. I figure Gaff picked Decard up on evening of the 19th, as he was eating dinner, so Holden presumably got aired out earlier that same day. Deckard kills Zhora and Rachel kills Leon on the evening of the 20th while Pris is scamming JF. Roy shows up at JF's for breakfast on the 21st. Later that evening Roy kills Tyrell and JF, and Deckard returns to the Bradbury to witness Roy's death early on the morning on the 22nd (as per the Workprint voiceover).

So you can start dressing like this now, but FFS, please smoke less:



And as long as we're here, thinking about how Blade Runner endures as one of the greatest movies of all time, let me refer you back to my hit-piece on Blade Runner 2049. That movie is very, very bad, and I'm still proud of my post about it.

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Softbody Tetris

This is soothing to watch, right up until one's realization that completed rows don't liquify, at which point it becomes intolerable.

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Manic Pixie Green Girl

Also, pro tip: "You can't put liquid bandage on and take it off with acetone for six days, or you have no skin and no liver."

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"Who among us hasn't dismembered someone with a bone saw?"


This monstrous piece of shit.
Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi on Saudi Arabia's assassination of Jamal Khashoggi:

I think that government said that they made a mistake. It's a serious mistake. We've made mistakes too, right, with self-driving ... So I think that people make mistakes. It doesn't mean that they can never be forgiven.

For those not keeping track:

  • The CIA concluded that Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman personally ordered the murder of Khashoggi. He was dismembered with a bone saw while still alive, beheaded, and had his fingers cut off within minutes of walking into a Saudi embassy.

  • The Saudi government owns more than 10% of Uber, at over $3.5 billion of investment.

  • Even after Prince Bonesaw personally ordered the murder of a journalist, Uber founder and billionaire sociopath Travis Kalanick (who still owns 8.5% of Uber, after being fired as CEO) took another $400 million from the Saudis for some other bullshit gig-economy con-job where now he's trying to dismember the restaurant industry and sell off the parts.

If you ever, ever give money to Uber -- what is wrong with you? What would it take?

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