This is upsettingly too close for comfort
If it makes you feel any better, real life has a second punchline where you meet the mouse that spent 15 years partying and the next 15 years scared shitless trying to find a cubicle. Lots of mousetrap designs out there, hard to say in advance which one you'd prefer to wait in.
At least they only live for about a year... with luck, they'll be long dead before their first performance evaluation, or having to fake ridiculously optimistic five- and ten-year self-improvement milestones...
Filed Under "...so they built in a fail-safe device..."
But but... what else would you do with your life if you didn't spend five days out of every seven staring at a screen for eight hours a day in order to make some shareholders rich?
Five days? Eight hours? What fantasyland do you live in? I'd like to move there.
You'd spend eight hours a day staring at a screen giving your soul to Facebook & Google, of course.
Eerily similar to:
“On the plus side, the pellets are excellent”