DJ: "IT'S ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT!"
Me: "SHOUTOUT TO THE BULLETIN OF ATOMIC SCIENTISTS!! WOO!!"
My friends: ...um?
Me: So this is 2019.

Me, 12:15am as someone stumblecrashes past me: "The time is now officially Shitshow O'Clock."
Non-industry friend: "Oh, do you want to leave?"
Industry friend: "You merely adopted the shitshow. We were born in it, molded by it."

Me, 2:45am, as DJ whom I'm not empowered to fire plays "Cotton Pickin' Joe": "THE NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES HAVE BEEN SET TO 0000 SINCE 1970. DO IT NOW. BURN IT ALL. CLEANSE THE WORLD WITH NEUTRONS."