Dali Clock

Dear Lazyweb, subclass Apple employees:

If you have any pull with whoever manages the anonymous $1/day third-world call center hellhole contractors who wield the banstick on iOS App Store submissions, can you fix this, please:

1) They rejected it, and 2) I wrote back (with some words that I didn't save, and which their web site will not show to me again) saying A) this program is already in the App Store, for years, B) it is historically significant, C) because it was one of the first programs on the 128k Mac which you might have heard of because it was made by your company, and then:

2.44 Binary Rejected
From Apple
4. 2 Design: Minimum Functionality


Thank you for your resubmission. However, upon further review, we found that your app is out of compliance with the following guideline(s):

Guideline 4.2 - Design - Minimum Functionality


So let me get this straight.

Right now, anyone can download the 2015 version of Dali Clock from the iOS App Store.

And if they do so, it does not rotate properly if they change the orientation of their (iOS 12) phone.

I have fixed that bug and uploaded a new version.

And your policy is, "No, we would prefer that people download the version that does not rotate properly."

That is the official Apple policy on this? Are you fucking kidding me?

Well played, Sir. Well played.

I hate you, Milkman Apple. Perhaps I can interest you in an Android version.

Previously, previously.

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4 Responses:

  1. This is sad. At the same time hilarious since Dali Clock actually provides functionality that iOS doesn’t include (the Clock app doesn’t show seconds in 24-hour format).

    I always use Dali Clock when counting down to the new year on New Year’s Eve.

  2. BHN says:

    Against stupidity

    The gods themselves

    Contend in vain.

  3. Elusis says:

    I hate you, Milkman Apple.

    I feel inordinately satisfied by this.

  4. Nibby says:

    Maybe if you add a feature to back up the time to iCloud? Or micro-transactions, for an extra drippy seven? Also, I'm always looking for new ways to express to my followers how much I love/hate 11:33. What an historic time for innovation.

  • Previously