Tell them to stop listening to my farts

Anna Trupiano:

Today in 1st grade one of my Deaf students farted loudly in class and other students turned to look at them. The following is a snippet of a 15 minute conversation that happened entirely in American Sign Language among the group of Deaf students and I.

Kid 1:

Why are they looking at me?
Me:
Because they heard you fart.
Kid 1:
Whhhhat do you mean?!?!
Me:
Hearing people can hear farts.
Kid 2:
*Totally horrified* Wait, they can hear all farts?!?!
Me:
Well no. Not all farts but some of them yes.
Kid 3:
How do you know which farts they can hear and which farts they can't?
Me:
Hmmm....you know how sometimes you can feel your butt move when you fart? A lot of those they can hear. But if your butt doesn't move it's more likely they didn't hear it.
Kid 1:
TELL THEM TO STOP LISTENING TO MY FARTS! THAT IS NOT NICE!
Me:
Hearing kids can't stop hearing farts, it just happens.
Kid 2:
I just will stop farting then.
Me:
Everyone farts, it is healthy. You can't stop.
Kid 3:
Wait. Everyone? Even my mom?
Me:
Yep.
Kid 2:
My dad?
Me:
Yep.
Kid 1:
......You?
Me:
Yep.
Kids:
*Laugh hysterically*
Kid 1:
...So you can hear and smell all the farts?
Me:
Some of the farts yes. Not all of them.
Kid 2:
Can hearing people see farts?
Kid 3:
Yeah. Green smoke comes out of their butt, I saw it on TV.
Me:
That doesn't happen in real life.
Kid 1:
What?! Ugh. I don't understand farts.

......I went to college for 8 years to have these conversations.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

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3 Responses:

  1. Thomas Lord says:

    To me, that sounds like the kind of story teachers tell about things that happen that remind them of why they got into teaching and how great it can be. That's a breakthrough day on multiple levels. It's very funny, of course, and kid-level raunchy -- but, really, that's what we call "making a difference".

    I do not speak for this organization but in favor of it.

    http://www.writercoachconnection.org/

    If it makes sense to you that talking straight up with a deaf elementary school kid about fart noises is really valuable, and especially if you think you can help middle school and high school kids learn to read and write and interact with adults, and you are in the east bay looking for a volunteer opportunity to better some public schools..... please check this org out as a possibility. (A background check and some training are part of the deal here.... it's a real (and rewarding) commitment.)

    (Hope you don't mind my mentioning this, jwz.)_

  2. Glaurung says:

    I cannot believe you haven't blogged about this yet:

    https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/11/wombat-poop-cube-why-is-it-square-shaped/

    Wombats stack their poop. Having decided for whatever reason that stacking their poop is important, they have evolved so that they shit cubes of poop instead of round poop.

    • margaret says:

      Exasperated wombat on seeing broken furniture: "Your mother's going to shit a prolate spheroid shaped object when she comes home and sees this..."

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