Today in 1st grade one of my Deaf students farted loudly in class and other students turned to look at them. The following is a snippet of a 15 minute conversation that happened entirely in American Sign Language among the group of Deaf students and I.
Kid 1:Why are they looking at me?Me:Because they heard you fart.Kid 1:Whhhhat do you mean?!?!Me:Hearing people can hear farts.Kid 2:*Totally horrified* Wait, they can hear all farts?!?!Me:Well no. Not all farts but some of them yes.Kid 3:How do you know which farts they can hear and which farts they can't?Me:Hmmm....you know how sometimes you can feel your butt move when you fart? A lot of those they can hear. But if your butt doesn't move it's more likely they didn't hear it.Kid 1:TELL THEM TO STOP LISTENING TO MY FARTS! THAT IS NOT NICE!Me:Hearing kids can't stop hearing farts, it just happens.Kid 2:I just will stop farting then.Me:Everyone farts, it is healthy. You can't stop.Kid 3:Wait. Everyone? Even my mom?Me:Yep.Kid 2:My dad?Me:Yep.Kid 1:......You?Me:Yep.Kids:*Laugh hysterically*Kid 1:...So you can hear and smell all the farts?Me:Some of the farts yes. Not all of them.Kid 2:Can hearing people see farts?Kid 3:Yeah. Green smoke comes out of their butt, I saw it on TV.Me:That doesn't happen in real life.Kid 1:What?! Ugh. I don't understand farts.
......I went to college for 8 years to have these conversations.
Tell them to stop listening to my farts
3 CommentsTags: perversions, poop