As is traditional, Halloween is a week-long affair for us here at DNA Lounge. We've got you covered:

So to recap:

• A Halloween-candy candy rave,

• a spooky Russian rockabilly / surf-rock band who love Ed Wood,

• the world's biggest mashup party in all four rooms and with a costume contest,

• the nation's longest-running goth club, plus goth burlesque,

• and finally our epic actual-Halloween blowout, in now its seventeenth year!

If none of that floats your boat, I think you should seek help.

Did you know that there's only one Spirit store in SF this year? I mean, it was never very good, and we have better costume shops in town, but one? There used to be one every six blocks! This used to be a Halloween Town. What is this world coming to.

A friend is DJing a Halloween-themed event tonight and I asked, "Do people dress up for that?" He said, "No, it's a college crowd, so if they dress up at all it's just in a fuckin' onesie."

You can do better, San Francisco. Show us what you got.