Clouston Self-Propelled Tree Shaver

"It was tricky, but..."

If, like me, you are wondering "but why would you do this?" the answer (per the patent) appears to be "more valuable lumber, and fire suppression".

So that's all well and good, and that's a soothing video over there, mercifully silent as it is, but if you want to see footage of a SCREAMING JUDDERING NIGHTMARE MACHINE that makes you ask WHY DID YOU GIVE THE ROBOT A CHAINSAW then you should watch this video instead.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , , ,

8 Responses:

  1. Matt says:

    FWIW reddit wasn't terribly thrilled with what it's doing to the bark.

  2. rc says:

    Feels like that video is missing one large, orange, dorky demon mechanic... hanging on to the tree shaver, screaming "Aaaaaaaay! Maaaaaaaaannnyyy! What are you dooooooooiiinnnnggg?"

  3. Nathan Williams says:

    Sure, it's a self-propelled climbing chainsaw, but it's so slow! Something like the Scorpion King is much quicker at turning a forest of trees into bare lumber sticks.

    • Ben says:

      The objective is to leave the tree alive and standing but now growing knot-free wood.

      If you know what I mean.

      • Laura says:

        Really? I figured it was to help down the lower dead branches that the periodic natural forest fires we've suppressed would have removed.

        • Ben says:

          RTFM.

          > However, commercial pruning of forest trees, such as Douglas fir and ponderosa pine, is undertaken primarily to produce trees having knot-free clearwood in the pruned area of the tree. When the lower branches of young forest trees are properly removed, occlusion or covering over of the removed branch stub takes place as the tree grows, thereby providing knot-free clearwood in the pruned area when the mature tree is harvested. Effective pruning requires that all branches, regardless of size, be removed up to a height of about thirty feet from the ground.

  4. Rollo says:

    Gyros. Just replace the tree with a rotisserie-tower of meat and you my friend are in the industrial-scale gyro business.

    • Elusis says:

      Well, if we ever do manage to clone and revive dinosaurs, that's the perfect tool for a haunch of T-rex.

  • Previously