Clown Egg Register

Here's a book of clown faces painted onto eggs.

In the world of clownery, tradition has long dictated that a clown must never steal another clown's look. To that end, British clowns have developed a system that sits at the exact intersection of twee whimsy and nightmarish menace that makes clowns such an enduring fixture in both children's entertainment and horror movies.

To prevent the theft of a clown's face, members of Clowns International (a UK-based international group) must painstakingly paint their clown faces onto eggs (!), then enter those eggs into the Clown Egg Register (!!), housed in the Wookey Hole Clowns Gallery-Museum in Somerset (!!!), and I swear to god that all of the nouns I just listed actually do exist. [...]

But the book couldn't answer my most burning question, so I did the only reasonable thing I could. I wrote to the book's publisher and demanded to know, What the fuck, British clowns? Or, as I put it in my very professional email, "Is there anyone who can explain to me why ... eggs?"

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9 Responses:

  1. phuzz says:

    Wooky Hole is just down the road from Cheddar Gorge, which is where the cheese gets it's name from.
    Terry Pratchett 'borrowed' this idea for the Fool's Guild in his Discworld books. A lot of his more strange ideas were based on real things, often without any eggsageration.

  2. other Jamie says:

    I have this book! Surprisingly satisfying to flip through.

    On the shelf with books about con artists and books about security.

  3. thielges says:

    Wookey Hole is in a part of England blessed with many funny sounding town names. Check it out:

    Shepton Mallet
    Chew Magna
    Acton Turville
    Chipping Sodbury
    Petty France
    Plot Street
    Low Ham

    (Had to fight mightily against spell correct to type those in!)

    • Kyzer says:

      See also:

      Acocks Green, Birmingham
      Bell End, Birmingham
      Blackdikes, Angus
      Brokenwind, Aberdeenshire
      Brown Willy, Cornwall
      Bullyhole Bottom, Monmouthshire
      Catholes, Cumbria
      Cockermouth, Cumbria
      Cocking, West Sussex
      Crotch Crescent, Oxford
      Fingringhoe, Essex
      Foulness, Essex
      Golden Balls, Oxfordshire
      Great Cockup and Little Cockup, Lake District
      Hole of Horcum, North Yorkshire
      Honey Knob Hill
      Horneyman, Kent
      Inchinnan, Renfrewshire
      Inchmore, Aberdeenshire
      Lickey End, Worcestershire
      Nether Wallop, Hampshire
      Penistone, Yorkshire
      Pett Bottom, Kent
      Piddle River, Dorset
      Pratt's Bottom, Bromley
      Pump Alley, Middlesex
      Ramsbottom, Lancashire
      Rimswell, Yorkshire
      Sandy Balls, Hampshire
      Shingay cum Wendy, Buckinghamshire
      Shitterton, Dorset
      Stow cum Quy, Cambridgeshire
      Thong, Kent
      Titty Hill, Sussex
      Twatt, Orkney
      Twatt, Shetland
      Wash Dyke, Norfolk
      Weedon Lois, Northampton
      Wetwang, Yorkshire

  4. Kaleberg says:

    The clown registry is familiar to anyone who watched the old 1960s Avengers series.

  5. Cool Charac says:

    Probably an Eggman sonic the hedgehog reference.

    • Cool Charac says:

      After thinking about this for a while, I realized that spacemen with bushy mustaches generally don't try to be funny, so I think the painting-faces-on-eggs thing is probably an EggDerp reference instead. Next I wonder why they would do that.

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