Today in Landfill Capitalism: Realistic Marketing, Inc.

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18 Responses:

  1. CTD says:

    One advantage of the scooter over the bus, in San Francisco anyway, is that the scooter probably contains less pee.

    • jwz says:

      I don't think you've thought this through.

    • Derpatron9000 says:

      I'm unsure you understand the definition of the word 'probably'. Many animals literally piss on anything free standing or propped up against something. Bird have solved a non problem here buy giving them more options.

    • Joshua Benedetto says:

      If anything this lets the user pee even more places and further than before!

      I mean if you look at the open nature of the scooter vs the contained nature of BART and a bus... not to mention the speed advantage over walking!

      This is the piss-soaked future we deserve.

  2. CTD says:

    I'm open-minded. If you have a pro-pee argument I'm all ears.

    • jwz says:

      There is literally no chance that unattended scooters left piled on sidewalks and in gutters are not peed on more than Muni is. Dogs alone will take that one over the top. They might as well paint them with a target.

  3. Derpatron9000 says:

    Hold up, the video showed what I assume was genuine footage of some clown ploughing i to pedestrians who were crossing at a cross walk and he says "sorry, but you guys didn't look?". If a anyone sees this guy give him a punch in the cock from me.

    • M.E. says:

      Him and every bicyclist who rides without holding the handlebars. Fuck those guys (and they're 90% guys). Look, we get it, you're a 30 year old man who learned a trick every five year got tired of back in the 80s. It's always smug, tall, entitled douchebags. And make no mistake about it, they are saying by their abstention, "I am literally unable to control my bicycle so get out of my way." Every time I see one of those despicable fucks I just watch them ride down the street in hopes they get doored or suffer some other mishap but it never seems to happen. Oh well, the world is unfair.

  4. internetimal says:

    Imagine if these weren't laden with technology to reduce their usefulness.

  5. George Dorn says:

    I look forward to them coming to my city. These should be a great source of 18650 cells for legitimate projects. Just be sure to crack them open away from home, or figure out a quick way to kill the cellular uplink.

  6. M.E. says:

    So has anyone tried just picking up a few dozen of them and dumping them on the front lawn of the CEO?

  7. Chas. Owens says:

    Hey, I am a big fan of public transportation. I used the MARC to get into DC all the time and used the Metro to get around in the city back when I used to go into DC. Now when I have to go into work (which is thankfully rare), it involves a flying to Santa Monica. Once I am at one of the two hotels my company is willing to pay for, I am about a mile from work. I could walk a quarter of a mile and catch a bus (on their schedule, so anywhere from 15 minutes to 50 minutes). I could hire a taxi ($10 bucks and an unknown wait time). I could walk, but I have quadriceps tendinitis and a host of other issues. What I have been doing is start walking from the hotel to work keeping an eye out for a Bird. Usually there is one right out front of the hotel, but sometimes I have to walk a quarter mile before I find one. Once I have one, it takes a few minutes to get to work. I follow all of the rules (ride in the road, follow the rules of the road, wear a helmet, etc). The worst case time (baring insanity) is 20 - 25 minutes (no bird found). The average case time is around 5 - 10 minutes (depending on traffic lights) and it costs a dollar or two. That easily beats all other modes of transport available to me. That said, I am considering getting an electric scooter or bike to leave in Santa Monica, but it is hard to justify the $400 - $1000 cost to replace the $40 - $100 yearly cost of using the Birds (plus work would have to store it somewhere).

    • James says:

      Yes, you are the customer who got these people funded by VCs. Now you have to figure out how to leverage your position as a successful customer. Call up the CEO, ask him for some cash to make a video about what you just wrote above. Trust me.

      • Chas. Owens says:

        I don't think they want old, fat, broken people associated with their brand. I think they are targeting a younger, hipper crowd.

    • Pavel says:

      It's great that the optimal case turns out to be optimal, but as it turns out, you gotta plan for all the other scenarios, too.

      Also, am I the only one who'll go ahead and spend other people's money when they're willing to give it to me? If I'm on a business trip, I'm more than happy to let work pay for a cab.

      • Chas. Owens says:

        The cab would take longer. Sure it isn't my money directly, but I don't see a reason to cost my company more money for a less enjoyable experience. I do get a cab from/to LAX.

        There are existing laws on the books in Santa Monica that are not being enforced that would do a lot to curb the assholish behavior. If the police actually started writing tickets (they have at least started giving verbal warnings from cow-orker reports), I think you would see a drop, but not an elimination, of the assholishness. Frankly though, I have seen (in my limited experience of four weeks over the last seven months) just as many assholes on bikes (on the sidewalk and the road) endangering pedestrians.

        • Pavel says:

          I live in NYC; we don't have these yet. I walk and ride my bike, and notice assholes of every variety - bipedal, biwheeled, and fourwheeled.

  8. Lloyd says:

    The << back link on this page is to a DNA Lounge update, which throws me out of this website. How do I get to the previous jwz blog entry? we'll never know.

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