Trump Dating

"Sad Trombone"

When it comes to disclosing their affiliation with Trump, no ground is more fraught than courtship. "Trump supporters swipe left" -- meaning "don't even bother trying" -- might be the single most common disclaimer on dating app profiles in Washington.

One beleaguered 31-year-old female administration official described at length her "very, very frequent" scraps with her matches on dating apps. "You do the small talk thing, and you have a very good conversation, and then they might say, 'You didn't vote for Trump, right?'" she says. "As soon as I say, 'Of course I did,' it just devolves into all-caps 'HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A RACIST AND A BIGOT?' And 'You're going to take away your own birth control.'" In one recent star-crossed exchange, the official told a match she worked for the federal government. When he pushed, she revealed she was in the administration. He asked her, "Do you rip babies from their mothers and then send them to Mexico?"

Evasive answers will get you only so far, though, since many dating apps provide enough information for inquisitive users to sleuth out their matches' identities. "I literally got the other day, 'Thanks but no thanks. Just Googled you and it said you were a mouthpiece for the Trump administration. Go fuck yourself,'" says the official. It's all enough to drive her and some of her colleagues away from at least some of the apps. "I'm no longer on Bumble," she says.

Young staffers have had to develop a keen sense of just when to have "The Talk" with romantic partners. "I've still been able to hook up with women," says a male former White House staffer. "But I know that I need to be careful about broaching the Trump stuff. I just know that going in, I need to be able to get it out at the right time and not get it out too early."

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13 Responses:

  1. Pavel says:

    I just know that going in, I need to be able to get it out at the right time and not get it out too early.

    To be fair, this is something that those of us not working for the Trump administration also have to deal with.

  2. Glaurung says:

    My heart pumps peanut butter for the poor lonely, dateless, sexually frustrated Trump supporters, it really does.

  3. No wonder the whole incel thing is so popular with these folks.

  4. Kyle Huff says:

    There is an episode of South Park about this, though not specifically about Trump since it pre-dates the Trump era.

  5. I actually thought that was one of the secondary points of the sociopath take-over - letting the 'paths come out into the open so they can find each other and hook up. Guess it didn't work out for them - undateable is undateable.

  6. Tim says:

    People only dating others with the same political worldview: what could possibly go wrong with that? I wonder if this is the exact point where the human race devolves into Morlocks and Eloi, and if so, which is which?

    • dzm says:

      Dibs on Eloi! I mean, yeah, it's a short life but it doesn't TOTALLY suck up until the end. Whereas Morlock? You live longer and have really nice unblemished skin. But otherwise? It just seems kinda dank and drab. That life sucks.

    • tfb says:

      I think there's a difference between only dating people with the same worldview and being willing to date Trump supporters. (I was going to say '... being willing to date fascists' which makes the point better but is probably technically incorrect.)

  7. MattyJ says:

    FMK: Someone that works for the Trump administration, a Facebook engineer, Hugh Jackman.

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