Canary Resuscitator

Here in the Stupidest Timeline it is impossible to tell what is true any more, but we are expected to believe both that: coalmine canaries were only discontinued in 1986; and that the mining companies actually bothered building safety equipment for them.

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I agree with this message. And it's a quite festive one today.

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Case Nightmare Buttcoin

ButtCoin: "Bitcoin stock photos are weird even by stock photo standards. This is like a weird sequence to summon Great Satoshi to finally unhinge his jaw and devour the world."

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Simulacra and Simulation: Split-Flap Display Replaced With High Fructose Corn Syrup

But to some, the big board's inherent mediocrity was part of what they found so endearing:

It is a monolith with human imperfections. "That's the weird, nostalgic, terrible thing that I like in the building," Karen Vanderbilt, 33, said as she stared at the board while waiting for the track posting for her delayed train to Washington.

Perhaps that affection is stoked by a little bit of Stockholm syndrome in the cramped station, a Stygian den of low ceilings, stale air and confusing tunnels. "Your only hope of getting out of there is staring up at this one little board," Mr. Rabinowitz said. "You wait in this room and look up at your captor and hope it will let you go."

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Blue Screen of Douche

Normally the foreskin of the Salesforce Dong is playing a video of a girl dancing in silhouette -- it's Butter in the sky. It's basically the same video as that trashy "MTV The Grind" thing that has been looping in the window above Butter for a decade, but six stories tall.

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