Sorry, But I Don't See How Nyarlathotep's Death Cult Is Negatively Affecting American Discourse

Look, All I'm Saying Is Let's At Least Give Nyarlathotep a Chance (2016)

Like it or not, Nyarlathotep -- God of a Thousand Forms, Stalker Among the Stars -- is our Commander-in-Chief now. And you know what, Jerry? Color me curious. I know a lot of really heated rhetoric and seemingly reckless policy proposals have been bandied about over the past few months -- that bit about "delighting in this dust speck you call Earth's senseless suffering" still bugs me -- but hey, the least we can do is see how He adjusts to His new responsibilities.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the election humbled the Black Pharaoh just a tad. [...] I'm telling you, once Nyarlathotep sits behind that desk in the Oval Office, I think the weight and solemnity of the position will start sinking in pretty quickly.

Think about it, Jerry. Does anyone really even expect Him to make good on His promise to cull a maddened horde from the populace that will traverse the globe like ravenous locusts, spreading His malevolence and contempt to all corners of the land? Who's gonna pay for that? It was probably just a soundbite, nothing more. Nyarlathotep knows how to play the game, Jerry. He knows exactly how to manipulate the headlines. And fever dreams, too.

Sorry, But I Don't See How Nyarlathotep's Death Cult Is Negatively Affecting American Discourse (2018)

So, no, I don't see any problem with the death cult's High Priest getting a recurring op-ed in the New York Times. He worked hard to get where he is, and last I checked, this is still the country where, if you put in enough hard work, time, energy -- and self-castration to please the abhorrent Anti-God, apparently -- you can make it. The cult is a small but troubling percentage of our population, but we can't just silence them because they call in eerie unison for a "Great Offering." Yeah, if I was on the editorial board I might see about diversifying with another woman, or perhaps a person of color, or hell, even someone slightly left-of-center, but I imagine it's pretty hard to quickly turn a ship as large as the USS Gray Lady. These institutions don't change overnight. Unless Nyarlathotep wills it, I suppose. [...]

Honestly, I think we as a society have forgotten the art of civil discourse. There was a time when conservatives and liberals could disagree in a debate, and then buy each other a round afterwards. Now everyone's shouting at one another about how wrong they are, how destructive and inhumane their policies will be, how we should be investing our tax dollars into the education of our few remaining children instead of a massive ziggurat aligned with some extra moon that suddenly appeared in the sky last week. We gotta figure out how to agree to disagree again.

And, look, call me crazy for suggesting this -- but what if guys like the High Priest and his death cult are right some of the time? Hey hey, calm down. I'm just playing Elder God's advocate here. I know it might "trigger" some overly sensitive folks, but on a purely rhetorical level, it helps to try seeing things from their side.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

5 Responses:

  1. Larry Hosken says:

    Not going to worry until I hear that Thiel's joined Cthulhu Ventures up in Marin County.

  2. Aaron says:

    Charlie Stross is doing it better.

  3. tfb says:

    I'd imagined Nyarlathotep as being a lot more well, smart and interesting than Trump. I wouldn't mind so much the whole death chaos and unspeakable horror thing, but why do we have to be led there by spoilt three-year-olds?

    (Well, of course, we don't: Trump, along with Johnson, Rees-Mogg and the rest are just barely-sentient slaves: Nyarlathotep lives somewhere well east of us.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. But if you provide a fake email address, I will likely assume that you are a troll, and not publish your comment.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <s> <strike> <strong> <img src="" width="" height="" style=""> <iframe src="" class=""> <video src="" class="" controls="" loop="" muted="" autoplay="" playsinline=""> <div class=""> <blink> <tt> <u>, or *italics*.

  • Previously