Wifi Jesus hears your prayers at 2.4 GHz.

"They hid it in the mind of Jesus from Świebodzin!"

The reporters proceeded to contact the Divine Mercy Parish that oversees the statue to ask if the space on top of Jesus's head is available for rent. A spokesperson said that wasn't an option, prompting the reporters to ask what is going on with the antennas. The spokesperson said they knew nothing about it. [...]

He refused to disclose the details of the contract, but said that the local church needed the network for a video surveillance system, adding that the agreement is completely legal.

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In case you've forgotten: Microsoft is still a vile garbage fire of a company.

E-waste recycler Eric Lundgren loses appeal on computer restore disks, must serve 15-month prison term:

A California man who built a sizable business out of recycling electronic waste is headed to federal prison for 15 months after a federal appeals court in Miami rejected his claim that the "restore disks" he made to extend the lives of computers had no financial value, instead ruling that he had infringed Microsoft's products to the tune of $700,000.

The appeals court upheld a federal district judge's ruling that the disks made by Eric Lundgren to restore Microsoft operating systems had a value of $25 apiece, even though they could be downloaded free and could be used only on computers with a valid Microsoft license. [...]

But he said the court had set a precedent for Microsoft and other software-makers to pursue criminal cases against those seeking to extend the life span of computers. "I got in the way of their agenda," Lundgren said, "this profit model that's way more profitable than I could ever be."

Lundgren said he wasn't sure when he would be surrendering. He said prosecutors in Miami told him he could have a couple of weeks to put his financial affairs in order, including plans for his company of more than 100 employees. "But I was told if I got loud in the media, they'd come pick me up," Lundgren said. "If you want to take my liberty, I'm going to get loud."

"I am going to prison, and I've accepted it," Lundgren said Monday. "What I'm not okay with is people not understanding why I'm going to prison. Hopefully my story can shine some light on the e-waste epidemic we have in the United States, how wasteful we are. At what point do people stand up and say something? I didn't say something, I just did it."

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New 311 app feature allows users to report double-parkers

This is glorious.

On April 9, The City launched a new feature in the smartphone application that allows users to report double-parked cars with photos and request enforcement.

Double-parked cars blocking bike lanes and traffic lanes and cars blocking driveways or parked illegally on sidewalks are all fair game for the new tool, said Nancy Alfaro, director of 311. [...]

And when cyclist Dale Munroe used the 311 app to report a double-parked truck in a bike lane on Second and South Park streets, along with a photo, SFMTA parking enforcement officers closed the case in under an hour.

The app is here. I've used it a couple times in the past to report potholes, but now that they take reports of Uber and Lyft... existing... I expect to be using it multiple times a day.

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Corpse fingers.

Gang of murderous thugs use dead man's finger in attempt to access his phone.

Victoria Armstrong, whose fiance, Linus F. Phillip, was shot and killed by a Largo police officer last month [was] at Sylvan Abbey Funeral Home in Clearwater the day two detectives showed up with Phillip's phone. They were taken to Phillip's corpse. Then, they tried to unlock the phone by holding the body's hands up to the phone's fingerprint sensor. [...]

Phillip was shot and killed March 23 at a Wawa gas station after police said he tried to drive away when an officer was about to search him.

Let's recap:

  • Unlocking a phone with a corpse:

    Creepy. Never use TouchID!

  • Busting in to a funeral home with the family present to do that:

    Monstrous.

  • Doing it to cover your ass for executing an unarmed black man:

    Priceless.

BTW, "Officer Matthew Steiner noticed Phillip's rented Nissan Altima had illegally tinted windows."

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Madonna has some thoughts on the matter

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Veneida Smith

Sheriff Says No Jail Can Hold Fair Tomboy of Mountains

Parkersburg authorities refused to pursue Veneida Smith, pretty 16-year-old girl, an alleged horse thief and jail breaker, into her mountain hiding places today. The sheriff and his deputies, opined "There ain't no jail that'll hold her," following the last escape when she sawed the bars in her cell window with a tiny blade of steel smuggled into the jail in her shoe. Sliding to the ground on a rope made with bed clothes, the "Holy Terror Tomboy," as she is known to authorities, evaded pursuit to outskirts of town where she secured her pony and galloped away in the direction of Cairo. Veneida is the veteran of a long string of jail breaks, according to authorities. Once she wrecked her cell with an iron bar because the sheriff refused to give her cigars to smoke. Previously she had broken out of a reform school, and numerous efforts of social workers to reform her were met with this reply: "The devil got me into it, let him get me out." Parkersburg authorities describe the girl as "pretty as a picture, wild as a deer, hardy as a mountain goat, as hard as nails, and able to care for herself anywhere."

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This is the only taxonomy anyone will ever need.

I'm going to replace all of my blog's tags with this right now.

  1. Man and his occupations
  2. Woman and her occupations
  3. Anthropomorphic deities
  4. Parts of the human body
  5. Mammals
  6. Parts of mammals
  7. Birds
  8. Parts of birds
  9. Amphibious animals, reptiles, etc.
  1. Fishes and parts of fishes
  2. Invertebrate and lesser animals
  3. Trees and plants
  4. Sky, earth, water
  5. Buildings, parts of buildings, etc.
  6. Ships and part of ships
  7. Domestic and funerary furniture
  8. Temple furniture and sacred emblems
  9. Crowns, dresses, staves, etc.
  10. Warfare, hunting, butchery
  11. Agriculture, crafts, and professions
  12. Rope, fiber, baskets
  13. Vessels of stone and earthenware
  14. Loaves and cakes
  15. Writing, games, music
  16. Geometric shapes
  1. Ill-defined signs

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Important Flatland Research

I have long had a hard time picturing what day, night and the shape of the terminator would look like on Buckminster Fuller's Dymaxion Map. Well yesterday I wrote some code and now I know! It sort-of feels like two weird spirals turning in opposite directions. Video here.

Skip ahead about half way to see it with satellite imagery instead of flat coloring. That version is a little dark, so you'll want to full-screen it.

Anyway, Planet Flatland has a very strange sun, is what I'm saying.

This update will be in the next release of XScreenSaver but I figured I'd post the video now anyway, because it's neat.

Oh yeah, also,

"We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living." -- R. Buckminster Fuller, 1970

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Homeland Security accidentally releases records on remote mind control

When you send thousands of FOIA requests, you are bound to get some very weird responses from time to time.

What you are looking at here is "psycho-electronic" weapons that purportedly use electromagnetism to do a wide variety of horrible things to people, such as reading or writing your mind, causing intense pain, "rigor mortis," or most heinous of all, itching. [...]

Just check the detail on these slides too. The black helicopter shooting off its psychotronic weapons, mapping your brain, broadcasting your thoughts back to some fusion center. I wish their example of "ELF Brain stimulation" was a little clearer though.

The image includes such great subheadings as:

  • FORCED MEMORY BLANKING AND INDUCED ERRONEOUS ACTIONS
  • SUDDEN, VIOLENT ITCHING INSIDE EYELIDS
  • FORCED MANIPULATION OF AIRWAYS, INCLUDING EXTERNALLY CONTROLLED FORCED SPEECH
  • SPECIAL ATTENTION TO GENITAL AREA: FORCED ORGASM, INTENSE PAIN
  • MICROWAVE HEARING
  • "TRANSPARENT EYELIDS"
  • FORCED "CAFFEINE FIELD" SLEEP PREVENTION
  • INDIVIDUAL AND GROUP REMOTE MIND CONTROL VIA "BLACK" HELICOPTER CARRYING PSYCHOTRONIC WEAPONS
  • INFORMATION INDUCED THROUGH MODULATION
  • SOUND WHICH BYPASSES THE EARS
  • IMPOSED SUBCONSCIOUS THOUGHTS

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Lađie̶s̶ and gentlemen, NaN Mi.

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