This is a bird-free tree. Birds need not apply.

Wealthy Bristol residents cause uproar by installing 'anti-bird spikes' to stop droppings hitting expensive cars

One resident, who asked to remain anonymous, confirmed the spikes were "solely to to protect cars", which include a number of expensive BMWs and Audis, from bird droppings.

They said: "The spikes are solely to protect the cars, there is no other reason.

"There is a big problem with bird droppings around here. They can really make a mess of cars, and for some reason the birds do seem to congregate around this area."

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10 Responses:

  1. Kyzer says:

    Vandals. If they care so much about their precious cars, why the fuck are they parking them under trees? Rent a garage, and if it's not important enough to do that, it's certainly not important enough to deprive city birds of their natural habitat.

  2. mdhughes says:

    New product idea: Anti-asshole spikes. Place them in Starbucks, along rich shopping districts, and around coke dealers.

  3. Christoph says:

    Imagine those spikes on the parking spaces...
    Incidentially, caltrops are also known as crow's feet.

  4. phuzz says:

    Wait, how did I not realise that this is in Bristol until now?
    BRB, just got to dig out a catapult and bag of bread crumbs. Unless anyone knows a food which will attract geese? Goose shite is messy...

    • Frandroid Atreides says:

      It would be pretty bad if the geese injured themselves while trying to grab breadcrumbs. I like how you're thinking but this is not going in the right direction...

      • phuzz says:

        I was planning on putting the breadcrumbs directly on the cars, I don't want the birds to be hurt.

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