He got some proper string, and made it wet... It turns out he needed salty water to get anywhere.
A 2m length... And the result - it works!!! Not even that slow (3½Mb/s down) though slow uplink. Don't dare touch the string though...
As a bonus, fit tin cans to both ends and you get voice as well as broadband on the same wet string!
Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.
Faster than the Verizon DSL I had before switching to a fixed wireless provider.
I remember Adam Engst having a anecdotal story about someone apparently having run a LocalTalk network between two buildings using the hot and cold water pipes... this is an upgrade.
Yes, he mentioned "Kee Nethery of Kagi once ran a LocalTalk network on hot and cold water pipes" in one of his articles from 1998 and quoted Kee in 1995.
Of course, Barbed wire phone lines was a thing.
Maybe it's the Queen's english but that, sir, is twine.