FCC Internet Porn Scrambler

FCC Internet Porn Scrambler

The FCC Internet Porn Scrambler Plug-in is the simplest way to see what the Internet will look like without Net Neutrality. Because without federal protections in place, the internet will start to look a lot like it did the last time the cable companies had control of our content. The plug-in is easy to install, but hard to stomach as all of your favorite content will be instantaneously replaced on sites like Pornhub with unwatchable scrambled video.

It only works in Chrome, but I did some testing for you. It looks just like this GIF, except with like, with moaning and wet meat-flapping noises and stuff.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , , ,

8 Responses:

  1. Bob says:

    Reminds me of the 80's. Trying to watch scrambled Cinemax and HBO on my pushbutton cable box.

  2. B says:

    I think the sentiment is 100% correct and brings back childhood cinemax memories. But I think the example isn't great - I see no world in which MindGeek (pr0nhub's owner) isn't the winner when net neutrality goes. They are very profitable and no doubt can afford to pay a premium to keep their bits moving faster than everyone else's. It will certainly make life mighty hard for, say, a new live-streaming teledildonics startup to compete, but that's the point, right? Entrenched profitable firms, your netflixs, googles and pr0hubs pay for priority, everyone else suffers. The only thing I don't think we'll see is billing the end consumer per byte - I think so many people stream that if you started having to pay per netflix episode you'd see actual pitchforks, versus just paying a extra dollar per month for the subscription...

    • jwz says:

      You may be right, but I would not be surprised if, in the dystopian future where companies have to pay a premium to multiple different gatekeepers to make their businesses function at all, that businesses like Comcast will refuse to offer that deal to porn companies. There's a long history of companies like Visa, PayPal, Square, Patreon and Facebook suddenly losing their Free Market ideals when it comes to adult content, and leaving vast swaths of money on the table rather than face the ire of their Fundamentalist investors.

      They probably won't charge the end user per byte, because everybody hates micropayments with pitchforky rage, but I think they would gleefully go back to a "Cable Package" model where if you want Netflix to work you have to pay for thirty ESPN packages too, or some shit like that.

      • Russ says:

        Reminds me of the common MLB lockouts during fee disputes.

      • nooj says:

        Where is the quote where you said, like ten years ago, that one day the internet would be controlled by corporations, and suck just as much as TV?

        • jwz says:

          That was like twenty years ago, my friend. It was in Code Rush.

          • Bob says:

            Yeah, but does anyone remember when you couldn't use the Internet for commercial (money making) purposes?

            I'm more expecting non-commercial traffic to be de-prioritized in the "brave new" future internet...

  3. B says:

    Also, the dystopian future will be disappointing if pornhub does not continue operating a fleet of snowplows:

    https://twitter.com/bradlaplante/status/939500454530166784

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. But if you provide a fake email address, I will likely assume that you are a troll, and not publish your comment.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <s> <strike> <strong> <img src="" width="" height="" style=""> <iframe src="" class=""> <video src="" class="" controls="" loop="" muted="" autoplay="" playsinline=""> <div class=""> <blink> <tt> <u>, or *italics*.

  • Previously