Dude I tried to rewatch Valerian last night and OMG it is so bad. How did I think it was even remotely tolerable?
Yeah, I almost feel like once you've seen the ending, the whole thing becomes retroactively worse.
There were visuals I liked, but the wheels came off really early, and then it was just... dumb.
It's like Jupiter Ascending bad.
Oh man. I'm going to push back only because I feel like that diminishes my personal gauge of badness.
What even is the basement when you calibrate against Jupiter Ascending??
I mean, the first time around I thought it compared favorably to The Fifth Element - another movie I only liked half of. The wheels come off that one as soon as fucking Ruby Rhod shows up. The whole Fhloston Paradise third act is worthless. But no.
Good comparison, with similar breakdowns after strong early visuals, but yeah, Valerian is much worse.
Oh, as for the basement -- I just watched Singularity, the new John Cusack movie. It was worse than Maze Runner 2.
Mal described it as "a prequel to Cleopatra 2525 where Cusack plays Kreegan" but THAT sounds like something I'd enjoy!
Oh, yeah, come on, man! Don't tease with the Cleopatra 2525!
And FTR I actually watched both Maze Runner movies (drunk) and if you added up every second I remember from their combined run times, I think it would come out to about 12 seconds.
Maze Runner has the stupidest Young Adult Fantasy trope of all time - everyone has amnesia, but we are supposed to root for "underdog" to win "girl" over "bully"? They have amnesia! They literally have no characterization! How am I supposed to pick the "good guy"?
And how is this a trope, anyway? Because it is. It actually makes the writing harder and the characters even less relatable. Why do they do this??
Because young people are stupid.
That answer is insufficient. I mean, I at least understand why at a certain age I was drawn to a hateful book like Ender's Game. The amnesia thing just doesn't make any sense. Is it a kink?
I get the feeling that all that young adult fiction is designed to allow the tween audience to just pick from blank slate characters to decide who they want to "be." Like Harry Potter and the different "houses" at the wizard school. It's all "what kind of witch are you?"
Oh man MySpace Quizzes metastasized.
Hoo boy yes.