Today in "Glistening Fatberg" news...


From Beneath You It Devours

A fatberg believed to be Britain's biggest ever weighing a 130-tonnes and stretching more than 850ft-long has been found lurking under the streets of Whitechapel. [...]

Engineers have now started their three-week war against the disgusting fatberg using high pressure hoses to dislodge the muck which is then sucked up into a fleet of tankers.

Thames Water's head of waste networks Matt Rimmer said: "This fatberg is up there with the biggest we've ever seen. It's a total monster and taking a lot of manpower and machinery to remove as it's set hard. It's basically like trying to break up concrete. It's frustrating as these situations are totally avoidable and caused by fat, oil and grease being washed down sinks and wipes flushed down the loo."

The last huge fatberg, which was Britain's biggest until now, was discovered in Kingston-upon-Thames, south west London, in 2013.

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3 Responses:

  1. Jim Sweeney says:

    TOO MANY JOKES...

  2. CTD says:

    Heh. "Rimmer".

  3. Tim says:

    According to various sources, this shoggoth fatberg may be recycled into biodiesel (bonus moronic infographic on that link). Put a Tekeli-li in your tank.

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