Nation Suddenly Realizes This Just Going To Be A Thing That Happens From Now On

From 2012. I liked The Onion more back when it was fiction.

NEW YORK -- Following Hurricane Sandy's destructive tear through the Northeast this week, the nation's 300 million citizens looked upon the trail of devastation and fully realized, for the first time, that this is just going to be something that happens from now on.

Gradually comprehending that this sort of thing is now just a fact of life, citizens all across America stared blankly at images of destroyed homes, major cities paralyzed by flooding, and ravaged communities covered in debris, and finally acknowledged that this, apparently, is now a regular part of the human experience.

"Oh, I see -- this is just going to be how it is from here on out," said New York City resident Brian Marcello, coming to terms with the fact that an immense storm that cripples mass transit systems and knocks out power for millions in the nation's largest metropolitan area can no longer be regarded as an isolated, freak incident, and will henceforth be just a normal thing that happens. "Hugely destructive weather events are going to keep happening, and they are going to get worse and worse, and living through them is something that will be a part of all our lives from now on, whether we like it or not." [...]

A Reuters poll conducted earlier this week found that 43 percent of Americans reported finally accepting the fact that a potentially endless number of increasingly lethal natural disasters would likely occur throughout the coming decades, while as many as 18 percent of respondents said they were "almost relieved" knowing that the possibility of their entire life being washed away in an instant now existed. [...]

"I went through something very similar a few years ago when I finally came to terms with the fact that no one would ever listen to anything I said about global warming," Morales added. "And that it is entirely too late to do anything about it."

Previously, previously.

Tags: ,

7 Responses:

  1. Jan Kujawa says:

    Like there's going to be a realization. Limbaugh just got done calling Harvey a hoax. When the next storm is blowing apart his studio in the next week the last words host listeners will hear from him will be "faaaaakeeee neeeeewwwwss" as he's being sucked out the roof.

  2. thielges says:

    Funny how the denialists keep conveniently modifying their position to align it closer to the truth without ever committing to positive change:

    "There's no global warming"
    "There is global warming but it is a natural cycle and not caused by humans"
    "Global warming is caused by humans. But it is too late to do anything."

  3. MattyJ says:

    Tangentially related, a few years ago I attended a talk by a The Onion editor, can't remember who, and he was talking about articles that come true. He cited one to the effect 'Bic says "fuck it", puts five blades on razor', then that happened a couple years later. He lamented "Goddamnit, I don't even know how to be funny any more."

  4. Lynn says:

    It's just as well because no one who claims to be in favor of climate change mitigation will actually take any real concrete steps in that direction. We now live in a permanent post-400 ppm world and unless you're Pentti Linkola or something you're not really doing anything to alter this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. But if you provide a fake email address, I will likely assume that you are a troll, and not publish your comment.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <s> <strike> <strong> <img src="" width="" height="" style=""> <iframe src="" class=""> <video src="" class="" controls="" loop=""> <div class=""> <blink> <tt> <u>, or *italics*.

  • Previously