Beards Shield The Gay

Russian Priest Tells Men Not to Shave to 'Protect From Homosexuality'

Metropolitan Kornily, Primate of the Russian Orthodox Old Believer Church (RPSC), said that men with beards were less likely "corrupted" by same-sex relationships.

"God set down certain rules. The Lord created everyone with a beard. No man can resist his creator," Kornily told Russia's National News Service. "It's made a monstrous thing to see men's clothing and hairstyles changing."

Metropolitan Kornily also lamented that the beard's special status had "completely disappeared from the Catholic West."

Russian President Vladimir Putin was the first head of state to visit an Old Believer church in 350 years when he visited the RSPC Rogozhsky spiritual center in Moscow in May 2017.

National News Service:

"God gave us the rules: it is written that the Lord created everyone with a beard. And the Catholic West completely disappeared from this concept. But this is unequivocal: on icons we can not imagine Christ or any saint without a beard. A person should not resist his creator. Sodomy from this and it went: changing men's clothing, hairstyles".

@meakoopa: "That a person named 'Reality Winner' is ruining the life of someone named 'Beauregard Sessions' is how you know we live in a rough draft."

To that list we must now add "Metropolitan Kornily (Primate)".

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15 Responses:

  1. robert_ says:

    "it is written that the Lord created everyone with a beard"

    Including women? We certainly have gone astray.

    • jwz says:

      My first thought was "Ha ha, translate fucked up" but then my second thought was, "No, translate got right to his intent." That is: "God made people. Oh, he also made women, but those aren't what we're talking about here."

      • tfb says:

        I've just been reading about Christine de Pizan, and that seems to be exactly what people thought in the late 14th century: there were men, who were people, and women, who weren't really. It's good to see the middle ages is alive and well.

      • pavel_lishin says:

        The Russian source reads,

        Бог дал нам правила: написано, что Господь создал всех с бородой.

        Translated,

        "God gave us rules; it is written, that God created all with a beard."

        He very explicitly does not specify the gender; "all" is gender neutral in this case.

        So I think you're definitely right.

      • adobriyan says:

        It is very strongly implied that he meant "all men with a beard", so translation is fucked up.

        Regardless they are Old Believers.

  2. Not Frank says:

    Apparently the Primate is unfamiliar with the Bear.

  3. Yuma Tripp says:

    Whew, I'm safe! 🙄

  4. Dara says:

    A rough draft and an eternal beta.

  5. That beard is very metrokornily.

  6. mike says:

    I don't exactly understand what this sect is about, but I did learn that Metropolitan Kornily lives in a cemetery.