The Walled Off Hotel

The Walled Off Hotel

The hotel boasts floor to ceiling views of graffiti-strewn concrete from almost every room. And for the exhibitionists amongst you - many are within range of the army watchtower.

The Piano Bar

Britain got its hands on Palestine in 1917 and the piano bar is themed as a colonial outpost from those heady days. It is equipped with languid ceiling fans, leather bound couches and an air of undeserved authority. Guests can peruse a collection of Banksy artworks that include vandalised oil paintings and statues choking on tear gas fumes. Warm scones and freshly brewed tea are served daily on fine bone china.

Presidential Room 1

This palatial suite is equipped with everything a corrupt head of state would need - a plunge bath able to accommodate up to four revellers, original artwork, library, home cinema, roof garden, tiki bar and a water feature made from a bullet riddled water tank. Comes with a complete set of Dead Sea bath minerals and an in-room dining service available upon request. Sleeps up to six.

Is there a swimming pool on the roof?

No. Our proximity to the wall means nobody is permitted to go on the roof without prior permission from the Israeli military. You should exercise common sense when staying with us. Aggressive drunkenness or loud public nudity is not encouraged. Under no circumstances should you shine laser pens at the army watchtowers.

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6 Responses:

  1. Doug Orleans says:

    I just got the pun!

  2. Omer van Kloeten says:

    I would have loved to stay there, but as an Israeli I can't. Bummer. It seems like it would be a great experience.

    Oh well, I guess I'll go to the exhibition he's opening next month at the most notoriously nouveau-riche mall in Israel...

    • Jonathan says:

      Are Israelis banned? By whom?

      • Nick Lamb says:

        Israelis are prohibited from travelling to some places by their government. However when this hotel was making a splash in UK media (because Banksy) it was highlighted that Israelis could legally visit, because the hotel is deliberately sited just on the right side of the line. Presumably Omer has looked into this more than the British press?

        • Omer van Kloeten says:

          Nick, you're right, I assumed the hotel was built on the Palestinian side of the wall, which I can't visit. My bad.

          One thing I have to correct you about is that when it comes to going to the Palestinian Authority, we fear meeting the same fate as past Israelis who wandered in there and were attacked a mob before the PA police or the IDF were able to reach them. It's a matter of not wanting to risk my life and well-being. The government simply codified not wanting to expose citizens to that risk into official rules.

          • phuzz says:

            "We're 500 metres from the checkpoint to Jerusalem and a mile from the centre of Bethlehem."

            I'm not sure if that makes you feel any safer or not, but you'll be in view of an army watch tower most of the way there.