Santissimi


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Tuttles.

"Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) demonstrates the failings of the Affordable Care Act by eating one of his constituents on the Senate floor"

Dear President Bannon,

Congratulations on your upgrade to Malebolge, the Eighth Circle of the Abyss. This tier of our eternal rewards program is reserved for customers of our Fraud department, including flatterers, adulterers, hypocrites, and thieves. And what a dedicated customer you have been.

We thank you for your use of our offerings, including Graft, Pandering, Deceit, and the Promotion of Discord. You earned your Fraud points through a surprising variety of purchases, ranging from tax evasion to promoting white supremacy. [...]

While Malebolge is one of our highest membership tiers, there is one higher. If you fulfill certain requirements, we would be delighted to upgrade you to Cocytus, the Ninth Circle. This lake of ice is reserved for our most honored guests, the traitors. While policy prevents us from suggesting specific qualifying products in our Betrayal line, we are confident you will explore your options.

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DNA Lounge: Wherein the planet has been hacked once more.

During our screening of HACKERS, the intermission began with this unscheduled interruption from notorious video terrorists RAZOR AND BLADE, where they discussed our Patreon!

Also, if you arrived late and missed the trailers before the movie, these are what I put together this time. A couple people asked me, "Are all of those movies real?" Yes. Yes they are.

So then this happened:

Go ahead and get those "Hacking the Gibson" jokes out of your system now. I found this even more unsettling than the fact that these days I get most of my morning updates on Trump's march toward the looming cyberpunk dystopia from this gentleman's RTs.

Photos will be forthcoming, but in the meantime, here's what our head-to-head Wipeout XL rig looked like with the elusive PS1 link cable:

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Spider Teapot

Sarah Duyer:

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DNA Lounge: Wherein Razor and Blade have an important message for you.

We had a really good time filming this:

That's Cyberdelia, Tuesday Feb 14!

  • A screening of Hackers at 8pm;
  • 90s electronica dance party to follow;
  • Hackers costume contest at midnight;
  • Head-to-head Wipeout XL competition throughout the night;
  • Interactive VR Demos;
  • Skate ramps! Rollerblades welcome!

If you're in town for the RSA conference, do stop by B Sides, the legit hacker con we are hosting at DNA Lounge this week. Look around for the B Sides Cyberdelia discount code!

And if you're thinking "but but Valentine's Day", here are some clips to remind you that it's totally a date movie:


Please help us spread the word about this one. Our events almost never get covered in the local press and blogs. This time, I even paid someone to write a press release about Cyberdelia, and the collective media response was "Meh."

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Sholim

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Daily Mail Article Hurt Melania Trump's Chance To Profit As FLOTUS

World's smallest violin plays for non-former-escort Melania Trump.

Melania Trump's lawyers alleged in a lawsuit filed Monday that the First Lady's "unique once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity to profit from her White House role was damaged by a Daily Mail article claiming she once worked as an escort.

The suit, filed in New York State Supreme Court against the tabloid's owner, Mail Media, seeks compensatory and punitive damages of at least $150 million.

"Plaintiff had the unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, as an extremely famous and well-known person, as well as a former professional model and brand spokesperson, and a successful businesswoman, to launch a broad-based commercial brand in multiple product categories, each of which could have garnered multi-million dollar business relationships for a multi-year term during which plaintiff is one of the most photographed women in the world. These product categories would have included, among other things, apparel, accessories, shoes, jewelry, cosmetics, hair care, skin care and fragrance."

The lawsuit alleges that Trump's reputation was undermined at a particularly opportune moment by the Mail article, which published unsubstantiated allegations from a Slovenian magazine that the First Lady had worked for an escort service. That article was eventually retracted.

The First Lady's lawyer, Charles Harder, announced on Tuesday that she had agreed to settle for a "substantial sum" with a Maryland blogger who also published a post about the escort allegations. In a statement provided to TPM by Harder's office, blogger Webster Tarpley said his story was "replete with false and defamatory statements" that he "fully" retracted.

Harder has been retained by many high-profile clients, includuing disgraced Fox News CEO Roger Ailes. Last year, Trump ally Peter Thiel paid Harder to represent former pro wrestler Hulk Hogan, whose given name is Terry Bollea, in an invasion-of-privacy suit against Gawker Media. The suit resulted in the media company's bankruptcy.

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I, for one, welcome the return of our Azhdarchid overlords

Recent examination of their fossils suggests some of them grew to become nightmarish giant land predators, roaming the prehistoric islands of Transylvania.

"These azhdarchids were giraffe-sized, quadrupedal Panzer-storks," Witton vividly described to me the animals he specialises in. "We have to look at the smaller, two to five metre wingspan azhdarchids, for clues to the life appearance of the big ones, but multiplying their well-known anatomy across to our giant remains creates some pretty awesome animals."

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Some notes on the worst-case scenario

We are looking at an administration that is very clearly being operated on behalf of carbon extraction industries.

There is a huge asset bubble tied up in uncombustable fossil fuels -- the carbon bubble. In addition, there is a base of approximately $70Tn ($70,000 billion--let that sink in for a moment) of installed infrastructure for processing fossil fuels and petrochemicals [...] It follows logically that if you have heavily invested in fossil fuels, time is running out to realize a return on your investment. Buying a US administration tailored to maximize ROI while fighting a rear-guard action against action on climate change and roll-out of a new, rival energy infrastructure is therefore rational (in business terms). Russia and the Putin angle is best understood as part of this. [...]

Note that climate change denialism is a flag of convenience for the folks at the top. It's a loyalty oath and a touchstone: they don't necessarily believe it, but it's very convenient to fervently preach it in public if you want to continue to turn a profit.

If you believe in anthropogenic climate change but dare not admit it, you cannot be seen to do anything obvious to remediate it. But there is one remediation tactic you can deploy deniably: genocide.

We are on course to hit 10 billion people by the end of the 21st century, and although the second derivative of the curve of population increase is flat, our peak population won't begin to decline at this rate until well into the 22nd century. [...]

While the gas chambers and extermination camps of the Final Solution get the most attention, people tend to forget that a large chunk of Hitler's plan for conquest, Generalplan Ost, relied in the short term on the Hunger Plan -- to kill 20-30 million people in Eastern Europe and Russia by systematically stealing their food. [...]

But the Neo-Nazi International won't need death camps in the 2020s to 2030s if their goal is to cut the world population by, say, 50%. Climate change and a clampdown on international travel will do the job for them. [...]

Never say Nazis don't learn the lessons of history. This time round, the Final Solution to Anthropogenic Climate change will be entirely deniable! There are no gas chambers or Einsatzgruppen involved: any bullets will be fired by autonomous robots, without a human finger on the trigger, and will be an automatic reaction to an attempted border crossing, so not the fault of the perpetrators. The victims will have only themselves to blame, for being born in the wrong place, in the wrong century, and for failing to adapt, and for starving themselves, and for inviting the attention of the border patrol drones. It will be a slow-motion atrocity on a scale that dwarfs the Holocaust. And it is the logical conclusion of the policies our new fascist international overlords appear to be working towards implementing.

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jwz mixtape 178

Please enjoy jwz mixtape 178.

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Current Music: as noted

  • Previously