Victor Barragan's piercings


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Another Quality Game From Lemarchand Toys

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DNA Lounge: Wherein you may now resume puking.

The new drum of Spill Magic has arrived, so you may now vomit with impunity. During the unfortunate period when we had run out, we asked you to kindly refrain from vomiting on our floor, and I know that was a terrible hardship to most of you, but those dark days are now behind us. Carry on.

Oh hey, how's that construction going, that required our parklet to be removed more than two months ago? Well, I think they spray-painted a couple of lines on the sidewalk at the opposite end of the block a couple of weeks ago. Other than that, nothing.

Why hasn't anything happened? They don't answer. When is work starting? They don't answer. What will that work be? They don't answer.

SFMTA and SFDPW, you are bad at your jobs and you should feel bad. A pox on both your houses.

I really want to just re-install our parklet and see how long it takes them to notice, but I don't have the money to burn on art projects like that any more. However, if anyone out there happens to have a few wooden shipping palettes and a ratty couch or two, we can replace it with the jankiest possible substitute. Call me. Let's make this happen.


ffmpeg volumedetect

Dear Lazyweb,

I need to detect the average volume of the left and right channels of an MP3, considered separately (e.g., to detect when one channel is louder than the other).

The ffmpeg volumedetect filter really, really wants to work on both channels at once. I thought maybe something like this would work, but it is still averaging the two of them, and producing the same output twice:

ffmpeg -hide_banner -i IN.mp3 -filter_complex 'channelsplit=channel_layout=stereo; [0:0:0]volumedetect; [0:0:1]volumedetect' -f null /dev/null

Any suggestions?

I can do it by writing a temporary file with each channel and then examining them again, but that's a lot slower because these are really big files. So I'd rather do it in one pass.

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I can't even.

This is what we have to deal with, you guys. This is what the world has come to.

From: Someone whose email address contains both the words "expert" and "support"
Subject: Cannot order tickets online - missing buttons?

Hi there, I'm on a desktop browser to order 2 tix for tomorrow's Odd Salon. I don't see any button for "Buy Now" or "Add to Cart" or similar.

All the DNA phone numbers are non working or lead to voice mails.

Here's what I see for that ticket ordering. Apparently my friend can complete the purchase but can't you fix this? I'm on desktop browser: Chrome Version 49.0.2623.112 (64-bit) on Mac, can't upgrade browser any further than what it is now. Don't have ordering apps on mobile, only desktop.

I could describe that NASCAR nightmare as a lot of things, but "insufficient buttons" is not one of them.

Also note the cherry on top: this person called all of the DNA phone numbers. Because that's how that works.

Update: Christ on a pogo stick, people. If you think this was me asking you geniuses for your web design advice, let me assure you that I was not.

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It's the glamour shot by the tree that really sells it.

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Men in Chairs

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CASE NIGHTMARE BOSON: The Summoning Grid Has Been Energized.

Fake human sacrifice filmed at CERN, with pranking scientists suspected

The European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) has launched an investigation into a video filmed at night on its Geneva campus depicting a mock ritual human sacrifice.

The ceremony appears to have been staged in front of a statue of the Hindu deity Shiva that is on permanent display at the complex, home of the Large Hadron Collider.

"Cern does not condone this type of spoof, which can give rise to misunderstandings about the scientific nature of our work."

Update, 2021: YouTube says: "This video has been removed for violating YouTube's policy on violent or graphic content. Learn more"

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Cassette Tape Table

Update: You can see these in person at DNA Pizza!

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The Toronto Circus Riot of 1855

It seems the clowns picked the wrong brothel.

This one was a hangout for some of the men in a local volunteer fire brigade: The Hook & Ladder Firefighting Company. [...]

No one seems to agree on exactly how the fight at the brothel got started. Some blame a particularly loudmouthed clown. Some say the clowns cut in line -- or knocked the hat off a fireman's head. But this much is clear: that night, the clowns kicked some firefighting ass. At least two of the firemen were seriously injury, dragged out of the brothel to safety as the Hook & Ladder crew retreated. For the rest of the night, the clowns could drink and screw in peace. [...]

By the time they got there, it had started. People were throwing stones. And while the circus performers and the carnies were apparently able to hold the mob off for a while, it couldn't last. Eventually, the crowd overwhelmed them. And when the Hook & Ladders arrived, all hell broke loose. They stormed the circus with pikes and axes, overturned wagons, pulled down the tents and the Big Top and set them on fire. They beat clowns to a pulp. Circus folk ran for their lives. Some dove into the lake for safety. It was mayhem.

It took the mayor to settle things down. He came to the Fair Green in person, kept a fireman from killing a clown with an axe by grabbing it out of his hands, and called in the militia to take control of the situation. Once things had calmed down, the circus performers came back for their belongings and then ran like hell.

The police had done pretty much nothing. They just watched. Even Chief Sherwood himself had eventually shown up, but could only claim to have stopped the rioters from setting fire to the cages of the animals. Of the 17 people who were charged in the riot, only one was ever convicted. All of the police who were at the scene claimed they couldn't remember any of the Orangemen who had been there. Just like they had a few weeks earlier, after the Fireman's Riot on Church.

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