DNA Lounge: Wherein Pac Man returns in time for robots.

Hey, Pac-Man is back, finally! My friend did a great job of refurbishing it. He fixed a bunch of things I didn't even notice were broken, so the display is a lot sharper now, too.

Bring quarters.

So, we have this giant CO2 tank in the back that drives our bars, and there's a hose going from that tank to the street, so they can charge it up from the truck directly instead of needing to come into the building and swap tanks. Fun fact, in the 15 years we've been here, I've never seen them charge it up, until today:


It made a ridiculously loud noise and expelled a gigantic 20-second-long plume every time he hooked or unhooked something. Seriously, it looked like one of those vaping douchebags who seem to think that the point of smoking is to be as performative about it as possible. It made me ask myself, "Is it supposed to do that?" I'm going to go with, "It is absolutely not supposed to do that. But that's the way this guy has always done it." (You know espresso machines don't have to make that loud screeching noise either, right? If they're doing that, they're doing it wrong.)

Oh, by the way, that fourth picture is a picture of all of the sidewalk construction that was scheduled to begin this week. Look at all that construction that is not happening where our parklet is not.

Do you have your tickets yet for the Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge this Sunday? I'm guessing you do not. You should fix that. It is one of my favorite events of the year, so don't miss it.

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Murderous Thug and Immediate Threat to Society Put On Administrative Leave

A cold-blooded killer who threatens the safety of everyone around him due to his uncontrollable rage and easy access to firearms was put on paid administrative leave today.

"It's just good to get a guy like this off the streets," said local police captain Joe Herkins. "And force him to think about what he's done while cashing a paycheck in a tropical paradise somewhere. He'll just have to oppress minorities without a gun for a few months and see how he feels about his actions after that."

The anti-social madman was forcibly given an all-expense paid vacation after managing to murder an unarmed black man, due process, and the integrity of the entire American justice system during a single, routine traffic stop.

The former playground bully, who now belongs to a national gang of superpredators responsible for countless slayings and who are known to be well-equipped with military-grade weaponry and vehicles, will thankfully be kept from prowling the streets for the small amount of time it will take him to get a wicked-nice tan.

But with his connections in high places and a strong no-snitching culture shared by fellow gang members, legal experts -- and others who have given up hope -- expect him to not only serve hard time under the hot sun of scenic Cancun, Mexico, but most likely also be legally forced by his superiors to sight see and finally visit all those places he's always wanted to check out but never really had the time to because of work.

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Internet Protocol Datagram

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Designing the Perfect Anti-Object

The Camden Bench:

Behold the Camden Bench. This pale, amorphous lump of sculpted concrete is designed to resist almost everything in a city that it might come into contact with. Named for the London authority that commissioned it, the Camden Bench has a special coating which makes it impervious to graffiti and vandalism. The squat, featureless surface gives drug dealers nowhere to hide their secret caches. The angled sides repel skateboarders and flyposters, litter and rain. The cambered top throws off rough sleepers. In fact, it is specially crafted to make sure that it is not used as anything except a bench. This makes it a strange artifact, defined far more by what it is not than what it is. The Camden Bench is a concerted effort to create a non-object.

As such, the Camden Bench is a strange kind of architectural null point. A piece of the city that by design will not interact with it in any way. It is a bench by the slimmest of margins -- hardly comfortable, affording none of the qualities that would make it more than simply a place to sit. This is the bench's sole concession to being part of the city, and it does it with the least conviction possible.

I'd like to see what the Camden Bench would look like if it didn't have to be a bench -- if that final design constraint was removed, what would it become? Just some nebulous lump of concrete? Would it shrink or grow? Would it even be visible, or would it exist as a space hidden behind a physical wrinkle in the map? The Camden non-Bench would be like a hard pearl in the mouth of an oyster, of the city but not part of the city, just an inert lump.

See also Unpleasant Design.

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Let's check in with Pablo Escobar's herd of feral hippos

Feral hippos.

More than a decade later, the four hippos that Escobar bought from a private zoo in California have multiplied to 35 animals, an invasive species that spreads disease, predates on local fauna (including manatees) and livestock, and have been sighted as far as 150km away from Escobar's former home. The animals can live up to 60 years and there are no natural predators for them in Colombia. Further complicating the effort to control their reproduction is that it's incredibly hard to castrate a hippo: first, because it annoys the hippo; and second, because hippo testicles retract into their bodies, making it nearly impossible to sex a hippo without a rather intimate inspection.

The current strategy is containment-based: local vets and officials are trying to build a fenced-in habitat for the hippos that has everything they need to tempt them to stay, and a combination of natural and constructed barriers to keep them from wandering.

And you thought manatees were the apex predator!

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Oscar, The Modular Body

I hope their kidneys are coded better than their web site. "Your browser version is Safari 9.1.1 Please update to the newest Safari version (at least 9.1) to view this website."

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Channel Zero Tetris



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Sextile

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