DNA Lounge: Wherein new puns have been installed above the oven.

The new DNA Pizza menu boards have arrived, check it out:

It looks so slick when it's new, before that furnace of an oven beneath it has warped it and given it a yellow tint... but more importantly, new items!

The appetizers have been re-vamped to be more of a mix-and-match situation, and we've added a few things. Might I particularly recommend the lemon pepper chicken nuggets. Sandwich and salads have also been updated with new puns. The Jayne Cobb Salad and Deep House Salad are out, due to unpopularity (even though I found the names hilarious) but in are: the Leaf Ericson, the Tom Tom Club, the Anton La Vegan and the Mötley Crüton.

The California Chicken, which is actually the sandwich I get most often, is still called that because I haven't been able to come up with a good chicken pun.

The California Über Olive is still probably my favorite of all of these names. You know, Jello Biafra has been here a bunch of times, so I wonder if he's ever noticed it up there. And I wonder if he's ever ordered it. And I wonder if whichever punk rock kid was working the register even recognized him. Because whichever way that scenario played out, it would have been hilarious.

Some photos:

So Stoked
Bootchella
Snog
Hubba Hubba: Murder Mansion
Death Guild @ Codeword
Bootie Prom 2015

It was so cool that Snog cosplayed as our ATMs!
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Moving Panoramas

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Ticketbastard owes you money


"Pay to the order of Iron Balls McGinty, One Dollar and NINE CENTS."
But you have to continue doing business with them to get it:

Ticketmaster's $400 million settlement over jacked-up fees for things like "order-processing" and shipping costs has been approved and finalized, more than a decade after the class-action suit -- Schlesinger v. Ticketmaster -- was originally filed.

To collect on the settlement, fans will have to spend more money on tickets.

You are one of the 50 million class members if you purchased a ticket on Ticketmaster's website from Oct. 21, 1999, through Feb. 27, 2013. If you haven't received an email notice yet, buyers are told to check their accounts on or around June 18 to retrieve discount codes -- one for each transaction during the class period, with a cap of 17 -- that are good for a $2.25 credit on a future online ticket purchase. [...]

As part of the settlement, Ticketmaster changed the language on its website to clarify that order-processing and delivery charges may include a profit for the company. That said, Ticketmaster "denies any fault or liability, or any charges of wrongdoing that have been or could have been asserted" during the case.

The lawsuit was originally filed in 2003, when Ticketmaster was part of IAC/InterActive Corp. Live Nation bought the ticketing firm for $2.5 billion in 2009.

That's a really good trick: they managed to drag out the lawsuit for thirteen years and when they finally "lost", they get to pay their damages in coupons. And bury a new disclaimer in the click-through.

They should have an itemized line item on the checkout page for "Contribution to Our Lawyers' Swimming Pools."

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Grid Corrections

By superimposing a rectangular grid on the earth surface, a grid built from exact square miles, the spherical deviations have to be fixed. After all, the grid has only two dimensions. The north-south boundaries in the grid are on the lines of longitude, which converge to the north. The roads that follow these boundaries must dogleg every twenty-four miles to counter the diminishing distances.


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The Last Internationale

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You've got to pulverize a few puny human skulls to make an omelette.

A Hybrid Hydrostatic Transmission and Human Safe Haptic Telepresence Robot

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Carl Burton



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DNA Lounge: Wherein the Snarkatron has been resurrected.

Joshua and Jeff, a pair of our loyal Death Guild regulars, took the Snarkatron home and fixed it! There was no Curse of the Sign this time around. That went a little bit like this, and a little bit like this:

But we also worked out how to get it to display images instead of just text! Witness the new hotness:

I'd actually known this was theoretically possible since the beginning, but never tried it because I didn't think anything would be legible at all, due to the low resolution (160×28) combined with the large gutters between characters and lines. Guess I was wrong!

You have to do it in a completely crazy way: it doesn't have the ability to take a bitmap, but you can upload a new font. So you have to break up your image into 5x7 tiles. And you only get 96 of them, so you have to re-use duplicates and hope that the image isn't complicated enough that it needs more. Colors are per tile, not per pixel, and brightness is global, so no multi-color images or dithering tricks, either.

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"One is supposed to put their penis into the hole lined with teeth."

I'm just gonna let Violet field this one:

From: Violet Blue
Subject: my new nightmare can be yours now too

I'm a dick for sending you this, but at least I don't have to suffer alone.

Here's the skeleton head for the base of a sex robot in production by Realbotix, the V2 which is called "Nova"

One is supposed to put their penis into the hole lined with teeth.

Let me ruin sex for you some more. Here's a video of the head making facial expressions without makeup:

Found via The Early Makings of a Talking Sex Robot.

If you must inflict this on the public, I don't mind if you screencap/quote this email. I almost feel like people should be warned about the coming storm of vagina dentata roombatas, certain to hoover up everyone's interest to sex once they see how the sausage is ground (in their impending nightmares, of course), so I might post about it outside my Sex News roundup later today.

Gotta go stash weapons around the house now, BRB.

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Long Live the New Flesh

I'm glad to see PETA finally doing something worthwhile by giving us the body-horror that Cronenberg has been slacking on!

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