Kara

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8 Responses:

  1. Grego says:

    Well. Now I have a favorite thing in the Star Wars universe.

  2. Gabriel Rosenkoetter says:

    Huh. Astromech droids don't get ejection charges? That kinda sucks.

    • Lloyd says:

      Astromech droid models providing copiloting, navigation, targeting and systems maintenance services are normally equipped with their own thrusters, notionally allowing them to scoot around the outside of spacecraft and to eject from sundry starfighters under their own power.

      However, those thrusters are not always maintained or fueled. But, when they are and are ready for use, the long-established tendency of droids to seek out and enjoy oilbaths for holistic maintenance, longevity and stay-fit-for-mission purposes interacts catastrophically with eventual full-blast emergency thruster ignition, resulting in large fireballs. It's not because the enemy fighter pilots made especially good shots, it's because the droid inadvertently blew itself and everything else up after having commanded pilot eject, while trying to escape itself.

      There are suspicions that command knows about this and finds it convenient; after all, a destroyed droid cannot reveal any base locations or fragments of a hologram map. (Loose bolts cost them Hoth, as the saying goes. That that was an enemy droid probe is neither here nor there.)

      And that's why well-maintained droids always leak oil - they're completely full of it - and lubricating your mech is considered an essential part of the pre-flight routine: "Oil your buddy, grease him down. Lube him up before you load him up! Trust your life to a well-oiled machine!" (Because you can't trust your life to the Force. Well, not YOUR life. You have no Force skills, you're not going to be a Jedi, and believing otherwise is why you always lose at dice games offshift and why you're getting those deep wrinkles on your forehead. Frowning more won't help.)

      The tendency of fighters losing their human pilots to suddenly explode has been noted by the ranks, and has led to a number of 'back-seat driver' jokes, which rear gunners vociferously dislike. (Again: Hoth. But possibly the 'lube and load up your rear' connotations.) And it's been noted by the droids themselves, who try and eject as quickly as possible before the fireball that they think is coming to them comes to them, inadvertently reinforcing the meme.

      It is also why astromech droids are discouraged from entering bars. Thrusters and volatiles are a potent mix. (Protocol droids, on the other manipulator, are merely annoying to talk to while drunk - well, even more annoying to talk to while drunk - which makes them bad company.) In addition, the smell of oil from a droid is harmful to the nose of a wine, ruins the expensive off-world bouquet, and just reminds you of the shiftwork that you are trying to forget in a haze of... what was this again? s'good.

      So that's why the droids just aren't the things the ejection seats are looking out for.

      Now, you are looking to buy me a drink. No, the blue one.

  3. Elmojo says:

    Better than most of the previous Star Wars movies put together. One flaw, though; the dialog was inaudible in places. I still have no idea what the last 2 lines are!
    Otherwise, fantastic work!

    • extra88 says:

      I agree, the dialog was too low in the mix. These are the last two lines:

      Pilot: I haven't seen one of your kind in a while.
      Marcus: Please, she can't control it.

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