CONET Barbie


They'd recorded some unstoppably perky young woman reciting kids' first names, Aaron, Abbot, Abby, Abigail, Adana, Adena, in an upbeat barbie-girl voice, every single one.

There were seventeen thousand of them.

To my knowledge, nobody has ever listened to the whole thing.

Of the six attempts I'm aware of, four were called off when the death threats started, one due to the near-breakup of the couple making the attempt, and one person drinking themselves to unconsciousness at about the 90 minute mark. I'm not saying that to make a joke. I'm telling you because this is real and it's an SCP-grade psychic biohazard. No highly esteemed deed was committed here; this is not a place of honour.

For your listening pleasure: here it is.

Update: Yessssss, someone made a Youtube video!

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Auto-importing phone photos on OSX 10.11

When I plug in my phone, I want the photos on it to be automatically copied, unaltered, as files, to some folder; and then deleted from the phone.

I will not use iCloud. I do not want to ever use the Photos or iPhoto interface to get at my photos. I just want the damned files.

Apparently the "autoimport" option in Image Capture is gone now. So how do I make this happen?

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Youtube live streaming help needed

Currently our video webcast is down and I can't tell why.

The youtube status page says everything is good, and it has been happily ingesting my uploaded data, but the video doesn't update.

So my questions are:

  1. Given that things are currently broken, how do I un-break it?

  2. How do I determine that it is in this broken state? Given that the dashboard is telling me that everything is fine.

  3. If the answer to #1 is, "You have to reset things by generating a new stream key" (which is a terrible answer) then:

    1. How do I generate a new stream key through the API instead of interactively?

    2. How do I make that new stream key stream to the old video ID?

    3. Or if I can't do that, how do I determine what the new video ID is?

Here's what I know:

  1. Z_OQ9X3V-Ko says it is live, but the video never updates.

  2. That's the video that has been working as a way to watch the webcast since Oct 21. It stopped working some time yesterday.

  3. This has happened before. Sometimes it magically starts working again. Sometimes the only way to fix it is to generate a new "stream name/key" and change the URL.

  4. FMLE is streaming to rtmp:// and has been pushing bits for 11+ hours.

  5. live_dashboard shows "Live, Stream health green".

  6. The "stream name/key" listed there is the same as what FMLE is using.

  7. The video embedded on the dashboard is Z_OQ9X3V-Ko, as it should be.

  8. Using the API,

    "publishedAt": "2015-10-23T04:00:29.000Z",
    "liveBroadcastContent": "live",

    and no liveStreamingDetails are returned.

  9. "/youtube/v3/liveStreams?part=id,snippet,contentDetails,status&mine=true"
    returns one item:

    "id": "BKC3Bi_ckdOm3HxPRB98LQ1417763778482615",
    "publishedAt": "2014-12-05T07:16:18.000Z",
    "streamStatus": "inactive",
    "isDefaultStream": false

  10. "/youtube/v3/liveBroadcasts?part=id,snippet,contentDetails,status&mine=true&maxResults=50
    returns 10 entries, none of which are "Z_OQ9X3V-Ko":

    "id": "jbCKnscEbmE",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-11-26T08:33:48.628Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-11-26T20:25:21.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "i8QWCaRAP7E",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-11-18T11:04:34.542Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-11-18T22:56:51.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "UjeRjaQ0-KU",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-11-11T13:24:08.278Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-11-12T01:15:37.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "RKPuRpAcSfs",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-11-10T23:53:45.665Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-11-11T11:48:31.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "Gg7DV3XeY08",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-10-30T23:44:08.467Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-10-31T11:35:45.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "Jgq1-qKryx4",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-10-29T15:00:10.001Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-10-30T04:54:12.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "kUbm7mRzucw",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-10-23T16:18:52.824Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-10-24T04:10:39.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "lgVXFThZP5Y",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-10-23T04:05:56.033Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-10-23T15:57:59.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "gTIK2XawLDA",
    "actualStartTime": "2015-01-07T20:15:54.541Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-10-21T21:02:16.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    "id": "8RyXumjr-rA",
    "actualStartTime": "2014-12-06T00:40:25.882Z",
    "actualEndTime":   "2015-01-07T20:03:35.000Z",
    "lifeCycleStatus": "complete",

    If you go to the dnalounge/videos page, all of those videos are listed there, with the title "DNA Lounge Live Stream". I don't even know where those came from, or how there got to be ten of them. Except for the last two, they all have durations of less than 12 hours, and are not consecutive, so... WTF are they?

  11. But!

    "id": "Z_OQ9X3V-Ko",
    "publishedAt": "2015-10-23T04:00:29.000Z",
    "isDefaultBroadcast": true
    "lifeCycleStatus": "live",
    "recordingStatus": "notRecording"
    "boundStreamId": "BKC3Bi_ckdOm3HxPRB98LQ1445572830053739",

    So it seems to know that the thing exists, and seems to think it's current. So why doesn't it appear in the liveBroadcasts list?

    You'd think there would be a way to take "BKC3Bi_ckdOm3HxPRB98LQ1417763778482615" (the thing returned by /liveStreams) and turn that into the video ID to which it is feeding bits, but I don't see a way.

Update: Today at around 9:42pm, the stream magically began working again, through no action of my own. Now that it is in the working state, all of the above URLs are returning exactly the same thing as when it was stuck. Hooray.

Update 2: And at 1am it went down again, and has been since. Hooray.

Previously, previously.

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The Emularity -- which, amazingly, is an actual URL that works -- lets you run ancient web browsers in your browser, but instead of pointing those old browsers at anachronistically modern versions of those pages, it pulls the correspondingly-old pages out of the Wayback Machine.

It runs the browsers by running a virtual Linux on the backend, that then runs emulators of the older operating systems inside it, that themselves run the browsers. It's turtles all the way down.

This is absolutely brilliant. Source here.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Today in terrorist cosplay news

Two life size Victorian dolls were spotted taking the Tube and wandering around town freaking out commuters this morning.

The seriously creepy dolls, who were spotted playing with a toy train set at Hamleys and pushing an empty antique pram along Tube platforms, were actually promoting Derren Brown's new theme park ride.

Teen refuses to stop dressing like a clown at night and terrorizing town

Another day, another mysterious clown terrorizing a city under the cover of night. In this case, it's a so-called "developmentally delayed teenager" in Waukesha, Wisconsin, who wants to scare the hell out of everyone. It seems to be working.

Mother of teen dressed as clown defends his actions.


Previously, previously, previously.
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Spice Filled Sandworm

"So many things went wrong with my first sandworm that the Fremen threw me out of the sietch."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Seeking kangaroo dong.

Can anyone find a higher resolution copy of this deleted scene from Tank Girl?

Apparently they spent $5,000 on Booga's prosthetic penis, and then... cut it.*

I would very much like to edit this back into the movie for our screening of it at Cyberdelia on Fri, Jan 29, but a 360x240 postage stamp isn't gonna do it...

* Said the mohel to the showgirl.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.
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Manslaughter charges dropped in BP spill case

Nobody from BP will go to prison

Rig supervisor Donald Vidrine instead pleaded guilty to violating the Clean Water Act, a misdemeanor that likely will result in 10 months of probation and 100 hours of community service. Robert Kaluza, the other supervisor who also was being charged with 11 manslaughter counts, is going to fight a single misdemeanor charge that he also violated the Clean Water Act. [...]

David Rainey, a former BP executive, was acquitted this summer of manipulating calculations over how much oil was being released during the 3-month-long spill, and a federal judge dismissed charges that he hindered a congressional investigation.

Kurt Mix, a former BP engineer, won a new trial in July after he was convicted of obstruction charges in connection to allegations that he deleted text messages detailing how much oil was spilling into the Gulf of Mexico. He was sentenced to six months probation after pleaded guilty last month to a lesser charge.

And a former manager of Halliburton, which sold concrete to BP, got a year of probation after pleading guilty to a charge of destroying evidence.

All of these people were way too far down the food chain to matter anyway, but it's kind of amazing that they can't even bring themselves to jail a scapegoat or two. The fact that the BP "Corporate Person" has not been executed for this is a crime against literal Humanity.

Previously, previously, previously.

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Zuckerberg has not donated anything, you gullible, credulous pinheads.

When a multi-billionaire puts out a press release saying that eventually they will transfer all-but-a-billion-or-so into a "charitable foundation" that they also completely control, that is not a donation, that is just moving your money from one bank account to another! And it's not even that, it's claiming that he's fixin' to get ready to do that some day.

I've even seen people saying, "I feel better about using Facebook now!" Fuck you.

This is just how billionaires launder money. It buys you good press and also gives you great opportunities to hand out million-a-year management salaries and board positions to your lesser cronies.

Save your applause for when he's actually built a desalinization plant or something, rather than being one of the primary drivers of the Public-Private Surveillance Partnership.

Previously, previously, previously.

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Reading Safari cookies from Perl

Did the Perl / Core Foundation bridging break in MacOS 10.11? This used to work:
use Foundation;
my $e = NSHTTPCookieStorage->sharedHTTPCookieStorage->cookies->objectEnumerator;
while (my $c = $e->nextObject and $$c) {
  print $c->domain->cString . ": " . $c->value->cString . "\n"; }
But now:
Can't locate object method "sharedHTTPCookieStorage" via package "NSHTTPCookieStorage" (perhaps you forgot to load "NSHTTPCookieStorage"?)


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