Last night, someone asked me if my surveillance camera sign modification art project was still ongoing. Sadly, the answer is no. I kept it up for about two months, but after a while it stopped feeling like a twice-daily opportunity to make a snarky joke about fear-based complicity in ubiquitous, asymmetric surveillance, and more like a chore coupled with an opportunity to argue with idiots.

Also I was sad that even though I got emails saying "Keep it up!" from a few other tenants of my building, when I was out of town for a week, nobody was willing to step up and continue the stickering in my absence. Throw me a bone here, people.

Anyway, this year someone put a Christmas tree in our lobby. It had lights but no ornaments, and last night, when I was having some of my "thinkin' juice" and got that question about the stickers, I said to myself I said, "You know what I oughtta do..!"

I thought this was funny enough that I braved Target on Christmas Eve. I hope you appreciate the hardships I endure for comedy.

I regret that my handwriting is not what it could be, but apparently I don't know anyone whose handwriting is any better. And uh, who was willing to come over and sit on my floor and doodle on my balls on short notice.

Happy Surveillmas, everybody!

And stop touching yourself.

Update: Well that didn't take long!

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15 Responses:

  1. This ornament intentionally left blank.

  2. Geoff Smith says:

    My favorite is the EULornament.

  3. Elusis says:

    I love you, Milkman Jamie.

  4. Mark Welch says:

    That's utterly wonderful.

  5. David K. says:

    Wow. I need some of that "thinkin' juice." It's inspired and brilliant. And, honestly, the funniest thing I've seen on the internet in quite awhile.

  6. Paul N says:

    Two months is much more stamina than I would have had.

    Your balls look great!

  7. J. Peterson says:

    Next up: DARPA runs a contest to re-construct our host's room from the reflections in the ornaments.

  8. Theodore says:

    You sure have balls, Jamie

  9. Phil says:

    This. Is. Awesome.

    Love the Prop-65-esque warning and Snowden on the Shelf.

    Also: "This side towards enemy."

    No photo of the decorated tree? Disappointed!

  10. I adore this, particularly the "your joy is being closely monitored" & the "don't suspect your neighbor/report him".

  11. gianteye says:

    You should invest in an egg plotter. It would allow you to scale this project tremendously next year.

  12. Ryan Russell says:

    I think you'll find they require extra attention this Christmas.

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